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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196996">It's dangerous to play with feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iranoutofstars/pseuds/iranoutofstars'>iranoutofstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legacies (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:27:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iranoutofstars/pseuds/iranoutofstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope and Josie are best friends. Just that. Josie was sure of that. One hundred percent!<br/>So what happens when you push boundries so much that the lines get blurred?<br/>Will they manage to stay friends? Or will it break their relationship beyond repair?</p><p>Hope you enjoy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>548</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cat Lady</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ugh, I'm exhausted!" Josie groaned falling in bed.</p>
<p>"What happened to knocking?" Penelope asked amused, her gaze remained focused on the book she was reading, but her hand moved involuntarily to stroke the younger girl's back.</p>
<p>"After fifteen years of friendship there's no such thing as knocking, I thought you knew and accepted that." The brunette replied getting up to lean on her elbows, pushing her hair out of her face.</p>
<p>"Oh yeah? And what if I had someone in here?" She countered back, closing her book.</p>
<p>Josie scoffed and looked at her like the idea was ridiculous, then she froze and looked around, puzzled.</p>
<p>"Did you hide her in the closet? Because that would be ironic to say the least." She replied turning around to lay on her back.</p>
<p>Penelope rolled her eyes playfully.</p>
<p>"I'm just saying, one of these days, you might just interrupt something..." She added grazing at the other's uncovered arm softly.</p>
<p>"Are you seeing someone?" Josie asked, confused at how they ended up on that topic. She didn't like the way her heart clenched painfully at the idea that her best friend might be dating. She was sure it was only because she was afraid their friendship would somehow change. There. That was all it was, no need to overthink it.</p>
<p>"No, but I don't plan on being single all my life." The raven-haired answered with a light chuckle.</p>
<p>"Good, you are way too hot to become a cat lady anyway." Josie replied sitting up. "Oh, I almost forgot, Hope texted to remind us that tonight there's the opening for Rafael's new club."</p>
<p>Penelope frowned.</p>
<p>"Why didn't she text me about it?"</p>
<p>"Cause she texted me." Josie answered, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.</p>
<p>"What, are we an entity now?" She asked teasingly.</p>
<p>"Well, we live together, I guess she just assumed I would talk to you about it anyway." Josie shrugged, she really didn't see the big deal. She told Penelope everything anyway. It was like the other girl was an extension of herself. If one of her friends told her something, they knew Penelope would hear about it too and it wasn't because Josie was one who liked to gossip, but because she considered her best friend as a part of herself. Everything Josie knew, Penelope knew. Everything Josie felt, Penelope knew. Or at least everything Josie acknowledged she was feeling.</p>
<p>"Do you want to go?" The raven-haired asked after a moment, looking at her intently, as if she was trying to read her mind.</p>
<p>"Sure, why not?" Josie replied keeping her eyes as far away from the other girl as possible, because she knew that if Penelope was to look in them, she could read her effortlessly.</p>
<p>"Are you ok with seeing Rafael?" She asked again point blank.</p>
<p>Josie shrugged and started playing with her fingers.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm completely over him. Honestly it was such a long time ago, I don't even care." She replied and it was true. She had no more feelings for the tall guy. What she had had with him was slightly more than a simple crush, that only lasted a few weeks.</p>
<p>"You might be over him, but I know you are not over what Lizzie did." Her best friend replied scooting closer and wrapping her arms around the brunette.</p>
<p>Penelope was never one to beat around the bushes, especially with the taller girl.</p>
<p>Josie was good at hiding her true feelings, good at pretending that she was fine when she wasn't, just to make people around her not worry, but Penelope could see right through her and she would never let her diminish her what she felt.</p>
<p>Even if Josie had never admitted it out loud, Penelope knew that the fact that Lizzie got with Rafael not a week after he had broken things off with her, had hurt.<br/><br/><br/>
"She didn't know. It's ok. She didn't do anything wrong." She replied, trying to focus on how happy the couple was and how everything turned out for the best.</p>
<p>She heard her best friend groan loudly next to her.</p>
<p>"Josie, please, everybody knew you had a crush on him. It's ok to be pissed at her, you don't always have to bury your feelings to spare everyone else." She replied frustrated.</p>
<p>"Can we stop talking about this, please? It's pointless. They are together now, it was a long time ago. I'm over it. I just want to go out with you and our friends and not have to deal with any drama, please?" She asked pleadingly.</p>
<p>Penelope nodded, because even if the martyr complex her best friend had, irritated her beyond belief, she knew pushing it further wasn't going to help.</p>
<p>"Sure, I'll drop it." She relented, placing a soft kiss on her temple.</p>
<p>"So, will you come with me or will you leave me all alone?" Josie demanded, lighting up at the idea of going out together.</p>
<p>"How dare you?! I would never abandon you like that!" Penelope replied feigning offense at the idea.</p>
<p>"Oh, interesting. You know, since like ten minutes ago you were basically telling me to find a new place to live in cause you were about to move in with your imaginary girlfriend." She replied teasingly standing up from the bed.</p>
<p>"I did not...!" The raven-haired's mouth slacked open at the ridiculous comment as Josie ran out of the bedroom laughing. "Yeah, run, cause if I catch you, you'll die a slow death from tickling" the older girl threaten, slowly getting up from her bed as well.</p>
<p>"No, not the tickle!" Josie pleaded from somewhere in the apartment.</p>
<p>"I'm coming to get you!" Penelope added heading straight for the other girl's bedroom. "I hope for your sake you hid well!"</p>
<p>"Please, no, not the tickle!" Josie's voice pleaded again, telling the raven-haired exactly where she was. "I'll surrender."</p>
<p>Penelope opened the door to Josie's closet, finding the girl curled up on the floor, her hands up in sign of defeat.</p>
<p>"You are really pushing this gay joke, you know?" She asked with an amused grin.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm bi. I'm allowed." She replied slowly standing up. "Now, let's not do something that we might regret and just forgive my stupid, but hilarious joke, yeah?" She asked trying to move away from Penelope, who had a dangerous smirk on her lips.</p>
<p>"Who said I might regret it?" She demanded before tackling the other girl to the bed and mercilessly tickling her sides.</p>
<p>Josie immediately broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.</p>
<p>Penelope was too entranced by the sight of her best friend looking so happy and carefree to notice that she had somehow climbed on Josie's lap and was now straddling her to hold her down.</p>
<p>"Please. Please s-stop, I can't- I can't bre-breathe." Josie begged and the older girl relented, still not moving from her compromising position.</p>
<p>They stood like that for a long moment, both trying to catch their breaths.</p>
<p>Josie laid there, messy hair sprawled everywhere, eyes closed and a content expression on her face.</p>
<p>Penelope was still sitting on the taller girl's lap, looking at her best friend. Lost in thought as she traced with her eyes every inch of the brunette's features, as if it was the first time she really looked at her (although it definitely wasn't). She gently reached out to push some rebellious strands of hair out of her face.</p>
<p>"I'll never leave you." She spoke softly. "I'll become a cat lady and you can coparent the kittens." She added with a teasing smile that somehow conveyed all the care she felt for the other girl. Josie laughed genuinely.</p>
<p>"Ok, but can we get dogs? Puppies are kinda cuter." She replied as Penelope finally moved out of her lap.</p>
<p>"Only if you train them on how to poop in the right place and not chew my shoes." The raven-haired countered, moving for the door.</p>
<p>"That's not how co-parenting works!" Josie complained.</p>
<p>"At what time do we have to leave?" Penelope asked, dropping the matter altogether, with a content smile on her lips.</p>
<p>"We leave at 9.04, you know, just to spice things up a little bit." The brunette replied wiggling her eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Sure, I'll hop in the shower, then and after that you can help me pick out a sexy outfit to impress my imaginary girlfriend." She replied heading towards her own bedroom. "And in the mean time you can figure out a way to poop train our future puppies." She added from the hallway.</p>
<p>"No, seriously, that's not how co-parenting works!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A fun night out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two girls arrived slightly later than they were supposed to, but it was absolutely not because Josie made them sing out the whole soundtrack from "High School Musical" while they were getting ready.</p>
<p>And even if Penelope found that music too poppy and was definitely over it, she sang along anyway, because she couldn't leave her best friend sing along by herself.</p>
<p>When they entered the club the formalities were already done and over with, it looked like the party was already in full swing.</p>
<p>There were a lot more people than they had anticipated and the two girls made their way through the crowd hand in hand, trying to locate their friends.</p>
<p>After what felt like forever, they finally found Hope basically grinding on Landon in time with the loud music playing from the speakers.</p>
<p>As soon as she spotted them, the girl abandoned her boyfriend and leaped towards them, enveloping both in a bone crushing hug that suggested she had already enjoyed more than a few drinks.</p>
<p>"Oh, you made it, we were convinced you wouldn't come after all!" She shouted in their ears. They shared an amused glance as they both steady her.</p>
<p>"I'm surprised you even notice we weren't here."</p>
<p>Penelope replied with a grin, as she handed Hope back to Landon, who put a protective arm around the girl's shoulder.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I've already switched her last two drinks with water, she'll thank me tomorrow." He replied.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm not that drunk," the girl defended, landing a pathetic swat on her boyfriend's chest. "Oh, but Raf is making these amazing fruity drink that are just to die for!" She added in a conspirational tone to the two girls.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna get something to drink, what do you want?" Penelope said, leaning closer to Josie's ear so the girl could hear her.</p>
<p>"You choose." The brunette replied shrugging and the other girl flashed her a big smile before disappearing in the crowd.</p>
<p>Josie didn't even notice she'd been staring at the raven-haired leaving until Hope pushed at her shoulder lightly to get her attention.</p>
<p>"So, what took you so long?" She repeated her unheard question, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.</p>
<p>"Nothing, we just took forever to get ready," she replied shrugging. It wasn't uncommon for their friends to make teasing comments about their close (very, very close) friendship, but they were used to it by then and they had stopped correcting them a long time ago.</p>
<p>"Sure. Are you gonna come dance with me or what?" Hope replied with another wiggle of the eyebrows.</p>
<p>"I don't know, have you seen Lizzie?" She asked looking around, although she realized finding her twin in the massive crowd was pretty much hopeless.</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, she's hanging out at the bar. I asked her to dance too, but she didn't want to leave Raf." Hope replied nonchalantly and Josie bit her lip. She knew she should go to say 'hi' to her twin, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see her ex and her sister together, although it had been almost a year since the whole situation, what Penelope had said was true: she might have been way over Rafael, but part of her was still hurt by her sister's actions.</p>
<p>"Oh, well, then I'll go say 'hi' later. Let's dance!" She recovered quickly, taking Hope's hand and letting herself being dragged on the dance floor.</p>
<p>"Yeah! Finally." The girl shrieked starting to dance right away.</p>
<p>*-*</p>
<p>"Hi, I'll get two gin and coke." Penelope said taking out her wallet. The bartender asked her to repeat herself twice before finally leaning over the counter to get her order right. She wasn't sure if people gave tips to bartenders in clubs, but he definitely wasn't getting one.</p>
<p>"Hi, Penelope." Someone shouted from her side and the girl turned around suddenly, startled at hearing her name.</p>
<p>"Oh, Lizzie, hey." The raven-haired replied with a slight nod.</p>
<p>"You guys finally made it." The blonde said with a tight lipped smile.</p>
<p>The two had never really liked each other, even before the whole Rafael incident. Although after that, things had only gotten worse because every time they saw each other Penelope couldn't pass up the chance to fire her shots at Lizzie.</p>
<p>"Yup, you know us, fashionably late." She said, with the same kind of smile.</p>
<p>"Where's Josie?" The girl asked.</p>
<p>Penelope had to use every last bit of her self restrain not to say something mean and she only held back for her best friend's sake.</p>
<p>"Ehm, somewhere there with Hope and Landon." She said instead and she was thankfully rescued by the bartender placing the drinks she had ordered in front of her. So maybe he had a chance at getting his tip after all, for the perfect timing if nothing else.</p>
<p>"It'll be twenty dollars." He said with a smile that she was sure he thought was charming. The raven-haired paid the due amount. No tip. She was too poor for that anyway. "I'm going to give your sister her drink, if you want to come say hi." She said taking the two glasses.</p>
<p>Penelope noticed the blonde looking towards her boyfriend, conflicted. "That is if you're not too busy, of course." She added with an irritated tone, walking away. She didn't even need to turn around to know that the blonde wasn't following her.</p>
<p>She sighed. She could feel her blood boil in her veins at the thought of how inconsiderate the twin could be.</p>
<p>Penelope thought Josie deserved the world and seeing how Lizzie always put Josie after everything else, seeing how she gave the girl for granted was enough to make the raven-haired dislike her with passion. She knew Josie was aware of how much she despised her sister even if Penelope had never voiced her thoughts out of respect for Josie. She would have never made the brunette choose between her and Lizzie.</p>
<p>Penelope felt all her anger dissipate as soon as her eyes found Josie dancing freely and unburdened with their friends.</p>
<p>She made her way towards them with a big smile on her lips.</p>
<p>"Penny!" Josie exclaimed as soon as she saw her, smile widening on her lips. "I missed you!" The brunette joked throwing her arms around the other girl's neck.</p>
<p>"You are just saying that because I have alcohol." She replied with a grin on her lips.</p>
<p>"I would never!" Josie said feigning offence. "But where is it?"</p>
<p>Penelope laughed, because how could she not? And offered one of the two glasses to the other girl, who downed it quickly.</p>
<p>The raven-haired was slightly surprised by the action.<br/><br/><br/>
"Here, have mine too." She offered, recovering quickly.</p>
<p>"Thank you, I needed that." The brunette replied drinking the other one quickly as well. "C'mon. Come and dance!"</p>
<p>*-*</p>
<p>Penelope had quickly made the decision not to tell her best friend about the encounter she had with her twin, there would be time for that in the morning, while Josie was nursing the inevitable hangover she was going to get. For the time being Penelope just wanted to have fun with her friends.</p>
<p>MG had joined them a little while after. Penelope and the group had been dancing for at least half an hour before the raven-haired decided to step away from the dancefloor. No matter how much she stood by her choice to wear heels to the club, her feet were hating her with fervent passion and she was sure that if they could talk they would threaten her to fall off if she didn't give them some much needed rest.</p>
<p>So she did, she miraculously found an empty seat and she plopped down on it, sighing in relief as she did so.</p>
<p>Her eyes stayed glued on her best friend, to make sure she stayed around her friends and was safe.</p>
<p>During their time at the club, Josie had downed more than one drink directed to her by strangers ogling at her from various parts of the dancefloor or bar and Penelope understood it, honestly, she did.</p>
<p>Josie was stunning and the black, tight dress she was wearing was hugging her curves in all the right places, but she couldn't help but feel a fire brewing at the pit of her stomach at the idea of some strange guy touching her Josie. Touching Josie. Not her, just Josie.</p>
<p>Penelope was sure her thoughts were only due to the fact that she wanted Josie to be safe. She was protective, that was it.</p>
<p>The raven-haired was so entranced by her own train of thoughts that she didn't even notice that the girl her eyes were monitoring wasn't with her friends. How hard could it be to spot a 5'7 girl in a stunning black dress in a crowd full of people? Apparently very hard.</p>
<p>Penelope quickly wished the girl had wore something just a little more colorful so that she could spot her easier. Maybe a bright yellow. Or a glaring orange!</p>
<p>Before she could spiral in full panic mode, the girl plopped down on her lap with a loud, dramatic sigh.</p>
<p>Penelope smiled at her, her body relaxed almost immediately at the contact.</p>
<p>"Why," Josie said pausing for effect and turning to look at her in the eyes. "Aren't you dancing with me?" She asked with an adorable pout on her face.</p>
<p>Penelope laughed lightly.</p>
<p>"My feet were about to disown me." She replied pushing a strand of  rebellious hair behind Josie's ear.</p>
<p>"Lame." The brunette shot back.</p>
<p>"You do remember what happened just a few hours ago when you made a joke like that about me, right?" The raven-haired asked narrowing her eyes.</p>
<p>"You wouldn't dare to tickle me in public!" Josie replied with an air of superiority, but then she took in Penelope's unamused gaze. "Would you?" She asked, slightly more insecure.</p>
<p>Penelope stared at her for another long moment.</p>
<p>"I wouldn't," she relented at last. "I would wait until we got home." She added with a smirk, brushing her hand softly against the other girl's side as a threat of what was to come.</p>
<p>Josie jerked away, almost falling off of the other girl's lap, but Penelope was quick to tighten her hold around the brunette.</p>
<p>The taller girl groaned and liberated herself from the raven-haired's grip, taking her hand instead.</p>
<p>"Tell your feet to suck it up, because I want to dance with you. I'll even give you a massage when we get home." She said pleadingly and the girl groaned but stood up to follow her.</p>
<p>"I'm only doing this for the massage." She replied seriously, pointing her finger at her face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you think..</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Beloved sister</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minutes turned into hours pretty quickly. The group of friends was still fervently dancing the night away, probably too drunk to feel the tiredness creeping into their bones or the ache of their muscles.</p><p>With each passing minute Penelope and Josie  moved somehow closer, until their bodies were flushed against each other.</p><p>Penelope had first moved closer to the taller girl to deter a guy, who had been staring at the brunette with a predatory look on his face, but then she relished in the feeling of Josie's body dancing against her own, so much so that she didn't even notice that the guy had lost complete interest and moved on to someone else.</p><p>Somewhen during their time together, Josie had turned around to dance against Penelope's front, as their friends cheered at them and the raven-haired was sure it was to blame on the alcohol in their systems when she brought her hands on Josie's side to pull her even closer. Basically grinding on her front now, Josie threw her hands in the air, just to bring them down again to circle them around Penelope's neck, bringing her head next to hers.</p><p>Josie could feel her best friend's breath against the skin of her neck, just below her jaw and she knew that she shouldn't be shivering that much at the feeling, but it was the alcohol, she convinced herself, and the adrenaline pumping through her veins. Nothing more.</p><p>*-*</p><p>Josie eventually stepped down from the dancefloor, much to everyone dismay, but she really needed to use the bathroom, all the drinks she had been having that night had finally reached her bladder and she wasn't that drunk that she couldn't realize she needed to go as fast as possible.</p><p>Surprisingly enough, there wasn't a big line for the bathroom, there was actually near to no one, so she stepped right in.</p><p>The door closed behind her, putting a barrier to the loud music that was playing in the club and her ears ringed at the sudden lack of bombarding noise.</p><p>Josie sighed deeply. She could feel a headache forming at the base of her skull and she already knew that the next morning she was going to regret the amount of drinks she had that night. She could feel her throat scratching due to all the shouting, she briefly wondered if she was going to have any voice left the next morning.</p><p>As she exited the stall, though, she realized she didn't really care that much, because she was having more fun than she had in months and it had very little to do with the alcohol.</p><p>"Hey Jo," someone said as she was washing her hands and she almost had a heart attack at the sudden noise.<br/><br/><br/>
She didn't have to turn around to know that her sister was standing right beside her, arms probably folded against her chest.</p><p>Josie took a deep breath, trying to forget about all that had happened in the past year. Trying to push through the awkwardness that had invaded their relationship.</p><p>She hated how different they were with each other now. They were once so close, sharing a room for eighteen years and now they were walking on eggshells and barely speaking to each other.</p><p>She hated it, but she couldn't help it.</p><p>Going to different colleges had divided them for the first time, but even with the distance and with living apart they made it their life mission to see each other everyday and then school work started to pile up and new friends came a long and their daily meeting turned into a weekly one and after the whole Rafael ordeal, it seemed like something had snapped driving them further apart than ever.</p><p>"Hey Lizzie," she said finally turning around, of course the blonde's arms were crossed against her chest, what a surprise. There was an air of superiority on her face that Josie didn't miss at all. "The club is great, congrats to Raf." She added, trying to ease the tension.</p><p>"Yeah, I know, he's pretty great like that." Lizzie replied shrugging and Josie had to physically stop herself from rolling her eyes. She smiled politely instead, wondering if she should try and make small conversation or if she could just leave and go back to her friends.</p><p>"So, how are things?" Lizzie asked before she could come up with a good excuse.</p><p>"Fine. Great. Everything cool..." She mumbled back, that wasn't smooth at all. She could see the smirk plastered on her twin's face grow even bigger. "And, ehm... What about you?" The brunette asked, 'cause surely that was the polite thing to do.</p><p>"Everything is perfect, actually." The blonde replied beaming and Josie should have been happy for her.</p><p>She knew she should, but a part of her couldn't help but feel a bit angry at the fact that Lizzie didn't look even remotely sorry for how things turned out.</p><p>She clenched her jaw, trying her best to let go of her anger and focus on forgiveness and the love she felt for her sister. "You know, I've always wanted to be part of a power couple and now that Raf has this club and I'm about to become my boss's first assistant and everybody knows that it's a very small leap from first assistant to big shot..." Lizzie rambled away and Josie stood there nodding slightly every so often to show that she was listening (which she wasn't really). "... Oh and Raf is such a good guy, he has been so good at taking care of me when I had to work my ass off for my idiot boss. Like, you wouldn't believe how good he is..." She rambled again and Josie's eyebrows shot up.</p><p>"Well..." She said and as much as she wanted to keep the bitterness out of her voice, she really couldn't help it. "I kinda dated him too, remember?" She asked.</p><p>Lizzie scoffed.</p><p>"Yeah, but I mean, that doesn't count. You were together for like five minutes..." the blonde replied and Josie couldn't believe her ears.</p><p>"Yeah, well, maybe we would have stayed together for longer if he hadn't cheated on me with you!" The brunette shot back. She didn't know what came over her. She was usually really good at keeping her feelings in check, but it was like her twin was purposefully trying to push all her buttons.</p><p>"Oh, c'mon, you can't still be bitter about that. It was so long ago and I told you a billion times I didn't know you two were together at the time." Lizzie replied, she looked more annoyed than guilty by her sister's words, which infuriated Josie even more. "It's nobody's fault if he wasn't as into you as you were into him. It's not like I stole him from you or anything. He choose me and we are happy together. Can't you just be happy for me?" The blonde added and Josie was truly at a loss for words, maybe she was just imagining that whole conversation. Maybe she had drunk more than she realized and now she was lying somewhere unconscious, while dreaming about having a confrontation with her sister.</p><p>"You must be joking me," she replied scoffing.</p><p>"Look, Jo. I'm sorry, ok? But it's not like he could be with you if he liked me. Stop being such a sore loser and get over it already."</p><p>"Oh, I'm over him, I'm way over him." Josie replied and she knew it sounded like a lie, but she really meant it.</p><p>What she wasn't over was her sister and her disregard for everybody's feelings but her own.</p><p>"Sure you are." Lizzie replied with an unconvinced nod. "Look, just a bit of sisterly advice: just don't try to get him back, ok? He's not gonna go for it and it'll only make you look even more pathetic."</p><p>"Oh my God, Lizzie, are you even listening to yourself?! I don't know if it's those new friends you've been hanging out with or your work environment, but you sound nothing like my sister."</p><p>"Jo, I'm only trying to look out for you, ok?"</p><p>"Well, you don't have to, because despite what you think of me, I really am over Rafael and actually him breaking up with me was the best thing that could have happened to me because it made me realize who I wanted, who I really needed was right in front of me and it definitely wasn't him." Josie didn't know what possessed her, she wasn't even sure of what she was saying. All she knew was that her mouth was regurgitating a bunch of words  that her drunken brain wasn't fully approving of and they kept tumbling out before she could stop them. It was like a river flowing out of her and she had no control over it whatsoever.</p><p>Her sister was looking at her shocked, she really didn't expect that outburst, even though she should have.</p><p>"Yeah, so you can thank your boyfriend for that because Penelope makes me happier than anyone ever has." The words were out before she could even think about it. Josie had to contain herself from bulging her eyes out at what she had just said.</p><p>Why was she even dragging Penelope into that mess? What was she thinking?</p><p>It made sense because Penelope was the only person she really spent time with beside their friends, but why would she even say that?!</p><p>Lizzie was looking at her, mouth agape and Josie knew that she had to come up with something else to say. It was time to either commit to the massive lie she had just insinuated or fold and backtrack hastily, but there was no chance in hell she would just let Lizzie get off the hook, not when she had finally managed to wipe that smirk off of her face.</p><p>"Oh and I can assure you that my girlfriend is better than Rafael in EVERY department." She added faking a confidence she definitely didn't have and then she left before she could crumble into a whimpering mess inside the dirty bathroom of a club.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi!!!<br/>To be honest I actually really like Lizzie in the series, especially in the second season, but every story needs a "villain"..<br/>Hope you enjoyed this chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A painful awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie barely made it out of the bathroom before all the mean and venom laced words her sister had said hit her like a ton of bricks.</p>
<p>She could barely notice the loud music thump in her ears again, she was remotely aware of the tons of people pushing against her body from all directions as she made her way through the crowd to try and find her friends.</p>
<p>Her eyes were blurry and it didn't take long for the first tears to start to roll down her face, what Lizzie had said cut her deeper than she was willing to admit and she truly wasn't sure she even recognized her sister anymore.</p>
<p>It felt like forever before she finally spotted Landon's curly hair jump up and down and she felt even more tears stream down her face, relieved to see her friends.</p>
<p>Penelope's eyes had been scanning the area for the past few minutes in hopes to see Josie and when their gazes finally met, her whole face lit up, but her smile soon faltered when she noticed the tears streaming down her face, her elated expression turned in one of worry in matter of seconds.</p>
<p>The raven-haired quickly pushed her way through the crowd of people separating them and enveloped her best friend in a warm embrace.</p>
<p>"Are you ok? What happened?" She asked in her ear.</p>
<p>"Can we just go home?" Josie pleaded, fresh tears springing from her eyes.</p>
<p>A sense of dread and fear took over Penelope's features and she cupped the other girl's face, looking over every inch of her body in search for any sign of what had made her so upset.</p>
<p>"Josie, did something happen in the bathroom? Please, talk to me, what's wrong?" Her mind was running a mile per minute, thinking over all the different terrible scenarios that could explain her tears.</p>
<p>"Nothing, just my sister." Josie mumbled against the side of her face. Penelope felt a wave of relief wash over her. Not that she felt any better at the sight of her best friend crying, but her mind had gone to darker places and she was incredibly relieved that that wasn't the case. "Can we go home now?" Josie asked trying to hide her face in the other girl's neck.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll call a Lyft and then I'll tell Hope we are tired, ok?" She asked wiping away the tears on the taller one's face and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.</p>
<p>The crowd was still chaotically dancing around them and the music was still disturbingly loud, but they were somewhat unaware of all of what was going on, tucked away in their little bubble.</p>
<p>Josie couldn't be more grateful for the comfort that Penelope could provide just by being at her side.</p>
<p>The raven-haired didn't stop hugging her, stroking her back with one hand as she fumbled with her phone with the other, trying to open the app to call a car to get them home. Josie stopped crying soon enough. She felt stupid and insecure. Everyone was having a great time and she was crying in her best friend's arms for some stupid things her sister said that were probably only caused by the alcohol.</p>
<p>She suddenly remembered what she had said to Lizzie, her face flushed. Did she really tell her sister that she was dating Penelope? She really must have been more drunk than she realized. She knew she had to tell her best friend, but she couldn't bring herself to do it right then. It was too chaotic, she rationalized.</p>
<p>She would do it when they were home. Alone. With silence. If she could ever find the courage.</p>
<p>"Ok, the car will be here in ten mins, let's go say goodbye." Penelope said putting her phone away and taking her hand. She checked one last time her best friend's face, wiping away the last traces of tears that were drying on her cheeks. She gave her an encouraging smile. Then they pushed their way through the crowd to where Hope and the two boys were still jumping up and down.</p>
<p>Penelope got a hold of Hope's arm and shouted something in her ear that Josie couldn't hear.</p>
<p>"No, do you really have to go?" She asked pouting and the raven-haired nodded.</p>
<p>"We should do brunch or something like that next Sunday." She replied and the shorter girl lit up at the mention of her favorite meal.</p>
<p>"Definitely!" She shrieked excitedly. "Well, ok, be safe girls!" She added hugging them both.</p>
<p>"Thanks, have fun." Penelope replied waving at the three friends.</p>
<p>She didn't need to ask if Josie wanted to say goodbye to Lizzie or Rafael, the answer was obvious, so she lead them outside of the club and into the chilly early hours of the morning.</p>
<p>Penelope's arm remained draped around Josie's shoulders the whole time, almost afraid she would lose the girl in the crowd if she didn't keep her close to her body.</p>
<p>"Are you sure you are ok?" She asked as they waited on the side walk.</p>
<p>"Yeah it's just... My sister said some stuff..." Josie replied, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. She couldn't lie to her best friend, but she really didn't want to think about the conversation yet.</p>
<p>"Well, what did she say?" Penelope prodded and Josie could feel her body stiffen against her own, as if she was getting ready for a fight. Knowing Penelope and how protective of her she was, the brunette didn't doubt that she would have gladly gone back inside the club to give her sister her two cents.</p>
<p>"Can we please talk about it tomorrow? I feel a massive headache coming on and I don't really wanna talk about it." Josie pleaded and the raven-haired relaxed, looking up and down the street almost as if she could will the car to appear if she looked hard enough.</p>
<p>"Sure," she relented with a soft smile, pulling her even closer to keep both of them warm.</p>
<p>*-*</p>
<p>Josie barely remembered the trip home. She was sure she dozed off in the car, that must have been the reason why her neck was hurting so much. She didn't even remember how exactly Penelope managed to drag her all the way up to their apartment. The whole thing was a blur, but she couldn't bring herself to care, because her best friend was laying her on her very comfortable and inviting bed and her whole body was humming in approval at the feeling of the lavander scented sheets underneath her.</p>
<p>"Mmmh, I think I'm in love," Josie mumbled, her mind still very fuzzy, trapped between consciousness and the dream world.</p>
<p>"With your bed?" Penelope asked chuckling as she took off the brunette's shoes.</p>
<p>"No, with you... My savior." She replied, eyes dropping, she could vaguely hear Penelope laugh and then she was being covered with her sheets.</p>
<p>"Goodnight, then, damsel in distress." The raven-haired joked placing a kiss on her forehead, but Josie was already lightly snoring.</p>
<p>*-*</p>
<p>Josie woke up because her head was throbbing painfully. She tried to turn on the other side and slip back into unconsciousness, but it was too late. Her brain was already replying the events of the night before and she groaned loudly, still astonished at how she could have said that she was dating Penelope to her sister.</p>
<p>She covered her face with both hands rubbing at her eyes, hoping it would soothe her headache.</p>
<p>"Hey," Penelope said, knocking lightly on the open door. "I heard the sound of braincells dying, so I thought I'd bring you some advil." She said with a smirk, sitting on the bed next to her.</p>
<p>"How are you so awake and... lively?" Josie asked taking the painkillers the girl was offering her.</p>
<p>"Might be the fact that I didn't drink as much as you did." She replied chuckling. "How are you feeling?" She asked after a moment.</p>
<p>"Like my head is about to explode." She complained. "Remind me not to drink ever again." She added falling back in bed dramatically.</p>
<p>"Sure," Penelope agreed amused at her best friend's antics. They didn't party that much, but every time they did, it always ended up the same way. Josie and Hope drank a little bit more than they could handle and in the morning they would complain and swear they would never drink another drop of alcohol... Until the next party.</p>
<p>"If it's of any consolation, I bet Hope is feeling way worse than you are right now." The raven-haired whispered.</p>
<p>"Am I a terrible person if I say that it does make me feel slightly better?" Josie asked looking up at her best friend with that pouty face that made her look so cute and innocent.</p>
<p>Penelope didn't think she could ever describe Josie as a terrible person, no matter what she did, she would defend her and justify her until her last breath if it came to it. But that was way too sappy for ten in the morning of a Saturday, so she just shook her head.</p>
<p>"Why don't I make you some breakfast so that we can cure that nasty hangover of yours?" She asked instead.</p>
<p>"No," Josie replied, trying to get up as slowly as possible so that she wouldn't get dizzy. "You took care of me all last night, it's my turn." She replied. She really needed a shower. She realized as she stretched. "Plus, I really need to talk to you about something and you might kill me, so, you know... I better start atoning for it right now." She added biting her lip with a remorseful look on her face.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" Penelope sighed. Her tone didn't carry any anger or resentment, just sconsolated acceptance.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How do you think Penelope will react?<br/>Let me know what do you think<br/>Hope you enjoyed</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. And the lies begin...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You did what?" Penelope asked, eyes bulging. Her expression would be almost comical if Josie hadn't been so nervous about it all.</p><p>"I know, I know I'm a terrible best friend, but Lizzie was really trying to get under my skin and well, it just... It just kinda come out." She tried to explain.</p><p>"How does me being your girlfriend even come up in a casual conversation?" The raven haired demanded, still shocked about the brunette's admission.</p><p>"Well, she said something about Rafael and then I said something and then she insinuated that I was a sore loser because Rafael chose her over me and that really made me kinda snap, so I said that him breaking up with me was the best thing that ever happened to me because it brought me closer to you..." Josie recollected, talking so fast that Penelope had a hard time following. "And then I kinda said that you were a thousand times better than him in every aspect." She added, her cheeks tinted a dark crimson color.</p><p>"Oh, Josie!" Penelope grunted covering her face with her hands. "Why would you say that?" She asked falling back onto the materass.</p><p>"I am so sorry I dragged you into this. I don't even know what came over me, she just had that stupid little grin on her face and I couldn't think clearly anymore, also I was pretty much drunk..." The girl tried to justify herself.</p><p>"Ok, well, you can always tell her that you were drunk and you didn't mean it, then." The raven-haired reasoned.</p><p>"No, please don't make me do that, if I say that it's like confirming everything she said, I can't do that, please!" The girl begged. "You are the one that is always telling me to stand up to her." She countered.</p><p>"Yeah and I mean it, but I didn't say to make up a fake relationship to do it." Penelope shot back. Her head was pounding and she really didn't want to think about all the implications Josie's lie would bring.</p><p>"Please, Penny, please just help me out. I can't let Lizzie win. Not this time." She pleaded and the girl was looking at her with those soft pleading eyes that were impossible to deny.</p><p>Penelope sighed deeply, scratching the back of her neck frustrated.</p><p>"Ok," she relented at last. "What do you need me to do?"<br/>
<br/>
"Ok, so Lizzie surely told Rafael already, who probably told Landon who absolutely told Hope, who is possibly going to call you to confirm, so you can just go along with it, you don't even have to lie that much about it. You can even tell her it's none of her business." Josie said, clenching her hands nervously as Penelope looked at her slightly confused but mostly preoccupied at her best friend's erratic behavior.</p><p>"Why can't I just tell Hope the truth?" Penelope asked frowning a bit.</p><p>"Well, because Hope can't keep a secret from Landon and Landon can't definitely keep a secret from Raf, who is undoubtedly going to spill everything to..."</p><p>"Ok, ok, ok, I got the chain of command, no need to go over it again." The raven-haired cut her off. "Ok, so I tell Hope we are together and then what? She's obviously gonna ask questions!" The girl replied trying to think logically about it. "Like why we didn't say anything, how long have we been together, who asked who first or how we even got together..." She started saying and then the thousands of possible question her friend could be asking started to pile up in her mind, leaving her slightly out of breath at the mere idea. A lump forming in her throat at the thought of lying to Hope.</p><p>"Ok, well I haven't thought so far ahead about it all, so just..." Josie said sitting up next to her on the bed, trying to calm her best friend down, or maybe she was trying to calm herself down. Possibly both.</p><p>"Ok," Penelope said taking a deep breath. Her best friend needed her help and she wasn't about to screw it up for her. "So, we didn't say anything about us to anybody because we were waiting to see where this was going," she started and Josie was surprised to see how collected Penelope looked. She had changed her demeanor in just a few seconds and it truly left her puzzled at how she managed that. "We can say that we started dating a couple of months ago, I doubt anyone will ask more questions on that." She added and it was so logical and calculated that they could  just as well be talking about a transaction. "I made the first move, because... Well, because everyone know I would be the one to make the first move." She added.</p><p>"And why is that? I could have been." Josie replied defensively, she wasn't sure why she felt almost offended by that statement.</p><p>"You would be so preoccupied with making sure not to screw up our friendship that you would never ever put yourself out there!" Penelope shot back and Josie couldn't say anything to that, because Penelope was right. She was so right that it rendered her speechless and made her some questions rose up in her head, but she was very quick at pushing them away in a far, dark corner of her mind.</p><p>Before Penelope could make any comments on how that sentence had silenced her, the raven-haired's phone rang loudly and both girls looked at it almost afraid.</p><p>"Would you look at that, like clockwork!" Penelope said showing the caller ID to Josie.</p><p>It was Hope.</p><p>"I'm gonna go sell our fake relationship to our other best friend while you figure out what exactly your plan is, ok?" She asked, her tone was sweet, but firm.</p><p>"Hey Hope, what's up?" She answered as she exited the room.</p><p>Josie slid down until she was laying on the other girl's bed.</p><p>She loved Penelope to no end, she realized how much she was asking out of the girl. She knew that if it had been anybody else they would have told her to go screw herself and she wouldn't have been surprised.</p><p>The whole idea was shaky at best, it didn't even start as a plan, it started out as stupid words rolling out of her mouth out of control.</p><p>But the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself they could make it work and it would finally make her sister respect her a little more, so that was what she focused on. She avoided thinking about all the possible ways it could go horribly wrong, because she definitely didn't need that kind of negativity right about then.</p><p>*-*</p><p>By the time Penelope joined back in bed, Josie had almost come up with a full plan.</p><p>"Ok, so she definitely bought it, I can't believe she was so ready to believe it..." The girl said sitting with her back against the headboard. "Oh, by the way I told her you are great in bed." She added with an amused smirk and Josie's mouth slacked open and her cheeks tinted red. Penelope laughed genuinely amused at her best friend expression. "I'm kidding..." She revealed. "You are actually amazing in bed, I had to downplay it so that I wouldn't sound like a horny teenager." She said chuckling.</p><p>"Shut up!" Josie replied laughing as well.</p><p>"So, what's the plan?" Penelope asked after a long moment of silence.</p><p>"We fake for a bit and then we break up..." Josie said simply, as if it wasn't a big deal.</p><p>"And when do you foresee this break up to be?" The raven-haired asked, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>"I was thinking it could be sometime after mine and Lizzie's birthday, because she asked for a big party, so of course my mum decided to throw it and she'll never let me live it down if you break up with me before then." The brunette explained.</p><p>"Josie, your birthday is in two months!" Penelope said shocked, when she first agreed to lie for her best friend she had thought it wouldn't be more than a couple of lies here and there, maybe a few more spontaneous touches but nothing more. "You want us to fake being in a relationship for two months?!"</p><p>"Well, no one comes here anyway, the only time we really have to fake is MG's birthday next week, because we definitely cannot miss that and all the other times we can just avoid going out, it's not like we hang out a bunch of times on a regular basis anyway..." She justified.</p><p>Penelope pondered seriously what her best friend was asking her to do and she knew that one way or another she was going to give in and agree to it anyway, it was pretty much just a matter of how much pleading and puppy eyes the brunette was going to give her. She sighed heavily and rubbed at her eyes. She was probably too tired to be making any important decision.</p><p>"Ok," she relented, the taller girl shrieked and threw herself on top of the raven-haired. "For the record, I think it's a terrible idea and I think it's going to come back and bites us in the ass, but if you really think it's what you need right now, I'm all in." She added with a smile on her face while rubbing at Josie's back. "Plus, putting Lizzie in her place is always a welcome added bonus."</p><p>"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" Josie said hugging her tightly. "I know it's asking a lot and I'll do anything you need me to do. Even laundry for the whole two months."</p><p>"Well, you can start with that feet massage you promised me yesterday.." Penelope said with a smirk. "And in the mean time you can tell me exactly what your she-devil sister told you last night that got you so upset." She added.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Just a breeze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well, if we are really gonna make our friends believe that we are together, we'll have to show something for it." Penelope said as they were eating lunch, later that day.</p>
<p>"Well, we already hold hands and hug all the time, so that part is covered..." Josie replied, she knew very well that that was not what her best friend was referring to, but she was still to shy to just come out and say it, so she let Penelope take the lead.</p>
<p>"Are you uncomfortable with the idea of kissing me?" The raven-haired asked directly. There it was again: that straight forwardness that Josie loved so much about her, still, she blushed deeply at the implication, because surely kissing your best friend to maintain your fake relationship was bound to be awkward, right? But yet again, it was kinda her idea...</p>
<p>"I mean... No," she mumbled. "But just to be sure, ehm, when you say kissing... You mean like... Well, you know..." Her eyes were laser focused on her plate, while she knew Penelope was staring at her intensely, waiting for her to just spit out the question already.</p>
<p>"Josie," the older one said after a moment, placing a hand on top of hers to put her out of her misery. "If you can't even say it, how are you going to convince anyone that we are together?" She asked with a soft look.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." The brunette replied rubbing at her face. "It's just a bit weird, you know?" She asked. "I'm really sorry I dragged you into this." She said again for what felt like the thousandth time.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, stop apologizing, ok?" Penelope asked taking both of her hands and turning around on her stool to face her best friend completely. "What's done is done, no turning back. Now all we have to do is sell it, but we can't do that if you are so uncomfortable around me, right?" She prompted.</p>
<p>"I'm not uncomfortable with you!" Josie defended as if the mere suggestion had somehow offended her. "It's just a bit weird." She repeated.</p>
<p>"Ok, do you trust me?" Penelope asked standing up, dragging the other girl with her.</p>
<p>"Well, that's a stupid question," Josie replied rolling her eyes. "Of course I trust you!"</p>
<p>"Ok, then... As we all know, you suck at improvisation," Penelope said making Josie's mouth slack open at the bluntness. "I'm sorry, but it's true, there are countless of instances I could name to prove it to you." She added raising her hands in defense. "But, you excell at preparation, so all we need to do is prepare!" She explained with a toothless grin that she hoped looked more confident than she felt.</p>
<p>Josie's eyebrows shot up.</p>
<p>"You mean like... Practice?" She asked surprised.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that way, when it comes to it, you won't run for the hills blowing our cover." The girl added and Josie had to admit that it made sense. Knowing what to expect before having to do it in front of everybody else was the most logical approach to the whole thing, but it still felt like crossing a line. Of course she couldn't say that. After all: they were in that mess because of her. She was the one who brought it upon themselves, she had to face the consequences now and hope it wouldn't screw up their friendship in anyway.</p>
<p>"Ok," she agreed, then an uncomfortable silence fell between them, Josie's eyes remained trained on her hands, while Penelope looked at her amusedly.</p>
<p>The raven-haired took a step closer, invading her personal space and hooked a finger under her chin to prompt the other girl to look at her.</p>
<p>"You know," she said, voice just above a whisper. "You are going to have to actually look at me at some point."</p>
<p>Josie's eyes shot up, looking immediately with her best friend's. She couldn't help but feel a bit scared at the anticipation of what was to come. She felt Penelope's hands slip around her waist and the other girl's eyes fluttered down to her lips and she was sure they were shaking. Why were they shaking? So she bit her bottom lip to will it to stop moving and could swear something in Penelope's eyes changed. It was all starting to feel a bit too real, but that was just in her head.</p>
<p>"Pretend you find me attractive." Penelope whispered centimeters away from her face, so close that Josie could feel her breath against her cheek.</p>
<p>Josie knew that her best friend was trying to lighten the mood. She knew that the raven-haired must have guessed she was nervous and a small smile broke on her lips. She circled the other girl's neck with her arms.</p>
<p>"Well, I mean... I don't know if my acting skills can stretch that far..." It was obviously a joke because Penelope was stunning. It wasn't a personal opinion, it was just a fact. Penelope chuckled.</p>
<p>"Ok, I'll set for not repulsive, then." She shot back and then another silence fell upon them.</p>
<p>The seconds ticked away as they both tried to decide who was supposed to close the distance, until Penelope realized that Josie was probably too nervous and too self-conscious to do it, so she leaned in, giving plenty of time to back out and call it quits on the whole charade.</p>
<p>But Josie stood still, eyes fluttered down on her best friend's plump lips, those same lips that were about to be pressed against her own and she couldn't help but acknowledge the clench in the pit of her stomach. The thrilling trepidation at the idea of being so close to Penelope.</p>
<p>Until their lips met and then Josie's brain stopped working altogether, or maybe it was working too much, she wasn't sure, really.</p>
<p>Her senses were invaded by Penelope, she could smell the distinctive perfume, her characteristic shampoo. She could feel the soft skin of her neck underneath her fingertips and her toned body flushed against her own, trapping her between the raven-haired's body and the counter. But most of all, her senses were hyper aware of those soft lips moving against her own. Josie let go of any form of self control as she opened her mouth slightly, needing to feel more.</p>
<p>Just for a brief moment, a wave of panic ran through her body when she felt Penelope getting a bit rigid at her action, but it went away quickly as the other girl swiped her tongue against her upper lip before entering her mouth.</p>
<p>And Josie could swear she saw stars as their tongues battled each other. Like, actual galaxies. Josie got lost in the kiss, she could barely feel Penelope's hands gripping at her sides as if she needed to ground herself, she barely felt Penelope bite slightly at her bottom lip, tugging at it as she separated from her just to attack her mouth again instants later.</p>
<p>All she could feel were the butterflies in her stomach, stampeding around as if they were trying to get free. It evoked memories of similar feelings, memories she thought she lost, but they had only been carefully buried under piles of lies and denial. Memories of feelings for the girl that was right in front of her. The same girl who was kissing her just to practice for a lie that she had crafted and her heart clenched painfully in her chest.</p>
<p>FUCK.</p>
<p>Penelope seemed to regain control just as Josie was about to spiral further down the rabbit hole. The raven-haired separated their bodies, breathing heavily against the side of her face.</p>
<p>Josie could feel that her best friend (who she had just made out with), was looking at her intently, but she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes and meet her gaze.</p>
<p>The brunette was still trying to ground herself, she felt dizzy and on the verge of throwing up, she had just been hit by at least ten years of repressed feelings for her best friend and a wave of panic was starting to rise and take control over her whole body.</p>
<p>What the hell has she gotten herself into?</p>
<p>"Well," Penelope spoke softly. "I think as long as we kiss like that, no one will ever even question it." She said with a nervous chuckle, putting some more distance between their bodies and Josie was conflicted, part of her wanted to drag Penelope back in her personal space and kiss her until she couldn't breath anymore, the other part, the rational one, was glad for the space.</p>
<p>She managed to flash a small smile towards her best friend as she opened her eyes.</p>
<p>"Let's just finish lunch." She said sitting back on her stool. She hoped her voice sounded normal. She hoped she looked normal. But she didn't feel normal. Her head was swirling with memories of the two of them, memories and feelings that should have made her aware that she had fallen for her best friend sometime between the age of fourteen and fifteen. All signs that she had denied or failed to acknowledge. All the signs that were coming back now to mock her and call her an idiot for not figuring it out sooner.</p>
<p>"Just..." Penelope started and Josie froze, because her voice sounded serious and nervous, meaning: she was about to tell her something really important and Josie wasn't sure she wanted to her it.</p>
<p><b>That's it.</b> She thought. <b>This is the time she finally tells me that she could read minds all along. And now I'm totally screwed.</b> Josie sighed, bracing herself and she turned around to face her best friend.</p>
<p>"Can we please make sure my parents won't hear about this?" She asked vulnerably. Josie frowned, that was definitely not what she was expecting.</p>
<p>"Sure, but why?" She asked confused.</p>
<p>"Well, I've never introduced any of my girlfriends to my parents and... Well, I don't want the first one to be... You." She replied shrugging, a bashful expression on her features.</p>
<p>Josie knew she shouldn't feel as offended as she did, but really at that point she couldn't help it.</p>
<p>"Ouch," she said, bringing a hand to her heart, exaggerating her hurt demeanor. Penelope chuckled.</p>
<p>"Oh, c'mon, you know what I mean..." She said. "If you were my real girlfriend I would introduce you in a heartbeat, but I don't want the first girl I introduce to them to be... Well, fake." She explained.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I get it, your parents won't find out about this, they never talk with anyone who would know anyway." She replied reassuringly, starting to feel more like herself again. She only needed to push those ten years of untouched feelings in a tiny little sealed box at the very back of her mind. No problem at all. "But wait, you've never introduced any of your exes to your parents?" She asked shocked.</p>
<p>"Nope." Penelope shook her head, taking another bite of her pizza. "Never got around to it, I guess." She added.</p>
<p>"Oh no, wait. Now I remember all your exes and I'm not surprised at all." Josie said with a pensive look on her face.</p>
<p>Penelope stopped eating to look at her.</p>
<p>"You never liked any of my girlfriends," she stated as if the notion had just came to her.</p>
<p>"Well, yeah, cause they all legitimately sucked!" The brunette replied. It was obvious really, yet another sign that she had masterfully shoved under the rug. She had always told herself it was because she was being protective of her best friend, that she didn't want to see her get herself heartbroken, when in reality she was simply jealous. Jealous because they could touch her the way she'd never could. Josie shook her head imperceptibly, trying to shove those thoughts back in the little box, she would definitely need a bigger box.</p>
<p>"They weren't that bad." Penelope defended weakly.</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure." Josie joked, but she left it at that and they both resumed eating their pizza with silly smiles on their faces.</p>
<p>It was astounding, really, how they could go back to teasing each other and being best friends after the moment they had just shared, because even if they pretended everything was normal and the kiss hadn't fazed them, it couldn't have been further from the truth.</p>
<p>That kiss had been like a whoosh of wind, it had come slowly, innocently, but it shook everything leaving them rattled and unsettled with their minds scrambled and their hearts disoriented.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Brunch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie found out that unveiling ages of repressed feelings also meant she couldn't even begin to think about doing anything else but going over and over the thoughts rolling in her mind. Sleep was definitely out of the question. That's why she laid awake in her bed at 4 am, staring at the ceiling and pondering over every little detail of her friendship with Penelope.</p><p>When her mind wasn't obsessing over the constant question if her best friend felt the same, it was replaying their kiss over and over again. In a constant loop.</p><p>Josie was sure she was going to go mad.</p><p>How was she supposed to pretend not to be totally in love with Penelope while pretending to be in love with Penelope? The concept alone was enough for her head to want to explode.</p><p>She rubbed at her face with both hands, pleading for some rest to come to her.</p><p>"Ah, Josie..." She said to herself, as if being condescending about the whole situation could bring her some peace, which it didn't, but at that point she was desperate.</p><p>If she really thought about it, though, she had always been incredibly good at avoiding her own feelings for someone else's or to accommodate a situation, so all she had to do was summon those skills and finally put them to good use, because she was damned if she was going to ruin her friendship with Penelope. Her Penelope. The Penelope who had always been at her side, ready to help her at any given moment. She cared too much for the girl to risk loosing her just for some bold feelings who wouldn't shut up.</p><p>She eventually passed out from exhaustion just before the clock struck six a.m., but her mind still didn't stop working and her dreams were filled with images of Penelope and their kiss.</p><p>*-*</p><p>When Josie woke up, she could smell the wonderful scent of fresh coffee coming from the kitchen and the smile that broke on her face was genuine. There was no better way to wake up on a Sunday morning.</p><p>She made her way to the kitchen in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, Penelope was humming a tune that the brunette didn't recognize while cooking breakfast.</p><p>"Goodmorning," Josie said rubbing her eyes.</p><p>"Oh, hey, sorry, I didn't wake you up, did I?" She asked turning around to look at her.</p><p>"No, don't worry. What have you got there?" She asked peeking curiously over the raven-haired's shoulder.</p><p>"Oh, just a little something to wake up. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Hope asked us to go to brunch with her today and I kinda said yes..." She added placing a hot cup of coffee in front of her.</p><p>"What?" The brunette asked confused. "I thought we were trying to limit our outings.."</p><p>"Yeah, I know, but she guilt tripped me and I couldn't refuse her. You don't want to come?" She asked then, sitting next to her.</p><p>"No, I mean..." Josie repressed her first instinct to avoid the situation. With all those thoughts in her head, maybe limiting her exposure to her best friend wasn't such a bad idea. "Do you want me to come?" She asked instead. There, flipping the question on the other girl. That was a smart move! She mentally high-fived herself for the clever comeback.</p><p>"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" Penelope answered without even thinking twice about it. "Plus, she is going to ask me a thousand questions about us, so it's only fair you suffer through that as well." She shrugged with a smirk.</p><p>"You're right, plus it'd be nice to actually catch up with Hope, the other night we didn't get much of a chance to talk..." She reasoned, pushing aside all the good reasons why she didn't want to go in the first place. "So when do we have to leave?" She asked finishing her delicious beverage.</p><p>"In an hour." Penelope replied.</p><p>"That early?! For brunch?" Josie asked surprised. Penelope looked at her puzzled.</p><p>"Jojo, it's ten in the morning!" She replied and Josie had to double check, just to be sure. She slept through three alarms without even noticing.</p><p>"Oh," she replied surprised. "I didn't even realized it..."</p><p>"You usually don't sleep in until this late, are you getting down with something?" The raven-haired asked looking at her attentively.</p><p>"No, I just stayed up until late last night, I couldn't sleep." She replied shrugging.</p><p>Penelope stared at her for a long moment, searching her expression, before she asked.</p><p>"Everything ok?"</p><p>"Yeah, just one of those nights." The brunette said dismissively and Penelope nodded, not pushing further.</p><p>"Well, anyway you have just enough time to take a shower." She added with a raised eyebrow and Josie knew that she was joking by the way she was looking at her, she had that playful glint in her eyes that made her look so happy and youthful, like a little kid. Still she feigned offence.</p><p>"You are the least nice pretend girlfriend I've ever had!" She replied getting up from the stool.</p><p>"Hey, I made you coffee, that makes me the best girlfriend pretend or not that you've ever had!" She reminded her and Josie had to admit that it was true.<br/><br/> She wasn't a girl with many pretenses: coffee and food was definitely the way to her heart.</p><p>"Fine, I'll guess I'll go shower for you, then..." She added heading for her bedroom. "You know, I really thought your love for me ran deeper than my exterior appearance." She added with a dramatic sigh. "I guess our relationship is not what I thought it was."</p><p>"Oh, honey, no love is THAT deep." She said chuckling.</p><p>Josie gasped.</p><p>"You bitch!" She muttered with a laugh.</p><p>*-*</p><p>"Ok, so who made the first move and how?" Josie asked again as they were walking from the car to the restaurant.</p><p>"I did, I kissed you in our kitchen." Penelope replied rolling her eyes playfully, that had to be the tenth time the brunette  asked her questions about their made up relationship. She was surprised the girl hadn't written a manuscript and made her memorize it, if she had to be honest.</p><p>"Ok, and where was our first date?" She asked again.</p><p>"Jojo, relax, we've got this." The raven-haired said tugging at her arm to made her stop just in front of the entrance. "Look," the girl said, putting a strand of soft brown hair behind her ear. "It's gonna be ok, so just take a deep breath and try to calm down, ok?" She added softly. Josie tried to do as she was told, but she still felt too apprehensive. One wrong answer and their friends might figure out the truth and she really couldn't have that.</p><p>"Are you sure they are going to believe us?" She asked, looking at those beautiful green eyes, vulnerably.</p><p>Penelope gave her a soft smile and cupped her face.</p><p>"As long as you are comfortable around me, they are not gonna question it." She replied, taking her hand. "Remember, we are in this together, so let's just act normal, with just a little more touching than usual. That's it." She said simply.</p><p>Of course that was not it. That was so far from being easy that Josie couldn't even begin to try and unveil the irony of what she was doing. But she nodded anyway, clutching the other girl's hand just a little bit tighter, finding the support and confidence she needed.<br/>
They were going to get through that brunch and they were going to be fine.</p><p>Or at least that was what she hoped.</p><p>They entered the restaurant hand in hand. Penelope looked casual, Josie noticed, she was acting as if that was normal. The brunette hoped she could exude half of the nonchalance the raven-haired had.</p><p>So, she focused on their joined hands, on their interlocked fingers and how soft her best friend's hand felt against her own and soon enough that was all she could think about, her mind emptied of any worry of maintaining their cover, because in that moment, it didn't feel like cover at all.</p><p>Soon enough Penelope was leading them towards the table where Hope and Landon were already waiting for them, looking at the couple with matching smirks on their faces.</p><p>"Look at them, I doubt they'll need much convincing." Penelope whispered in her ear as soon as she saw their friends and Josie couldn't help but giggle at that.</p><p>"You guys," Hope said standing up as soon as they were close enough. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you like this." She added hugging Penelope first and then Josie, with the same amount of affection.</p><p>"Hi," Landon said from his place in the booth as the couple sat down. It wasn't that the guy didn't care about them just as much as Hope, they all have known each other for so long that they were basically a family by then, but he usually maintained the display of physical affection at a minimum, he preferred using his words.</p><p>"Hi Landon," the girls said almost in unison.</p><p>"Ok, so, I wanna know EVERYTHING!" Hope interrupted, the girls were barely settled in their seats.</p><p>"Babe, give them a second, they literally just got here." The boy tried to reprimand.</p><p>"Well, I've been deprived from details for who knows how long, the least they can do now is catch me up on all they've withheld from me!" The girl replied, as if the couple in question wasn't even there and Josie shot a guilty look to Penelope who casually laid her arm on the back of the brunette's seat.</p><p>"Thanks Landon, but it's ok, she is kinda right." The raven-haired replied with a shrug. Josie didn't even notice as she shuffled closer to her best friend's until their bodies were flushed one against the other.</p><p>"So, what do you want to know?" Penelope asked moving her arm around the brunette's shoulders.</p><p>"How did it happen?" Hope asked leaning on the table, as if the closer she got to the other couple, the faster she could get her answers.</p><p>The two girls shared a quick look, debating with their eyes who would answer that question.</p><p>"Well, ..." Penelope started to say after a second.</p><p>"Hey, what can I get you?" A waiter interrupted her and it honestly looked like Hope was about to slap the poor guy. Everybody ordered, trying to stifle their laughter at Hope's clear upset demeanor for the interruption.</p><p>"Ok, so, you were saying?" Landon asked as soon as the waiter left.</p><p>"Well, to be honest is not that much of a story..." She said honestly. "One day, we were in our kitchen and I kinda... Well, just kissed her." The girl delivered the rehearsed line so naturally that even Josie had trouble remember that they weren't actually together. Of course the kiss did happen, but it was definitely not the product of genuine feelings.</p><p>Hope was looking at them the same way she would look at a John Green's book based movie and Josie almost felt bad that it was all a con.</p><p>"I just couldn't hold it in anymore.." Penelope added looking deeply into Josie's eyes, the brunette could see so much care in them that she almost believed there was something more to the act, but that was crazy. Absolutely nonsense, still Josie was very impressed with her best friend's acting skills.</p><p>The brunette gave her a little smile and then she leaned in for a quick peck on the lips, because she felt like the moment called for it, luckily Penelope just let her, even smiling a bit in the kiss as well. They could hear Hope literally coo at them, so they separated, just in time for the food to arrive.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. An Oscar worthy performance... Almost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"By the way, I totally knew you would be the one to make the first move!" Hope said with a proud smile on her face. Penelope smirked and winked at Josie, whose mouth was slacked open in shock.</p>
<p>"But why?! I could totally have been the one to make the first move!" She said defensively.</p>
<p>"Mmmh, no..." The girl said dismissively. "But I want more details, how was the kiss, how was your first date and... Oh, have you done it already?" She asked smirking and Landon looked positively terrified at the idea that the girls might answer.</p>
<p>"Ok, no, I'm putting an end to this!" He interjected before the girls could do anything more than blush. "Babe, I think you already know enough, stop barraging them with questions."</p>
<p>"But I've been waiting so long for this!" She replied with a pout.</p>
<p>"What is that supposed to mean?" Josie asked with a frown and a small smile on her lips, truly confused.</p>
<p>"Oh, c'mon, I've seen you two fall in love and be oblivious idiots for years!" She replied taking a bite of her waffle. "I'm glad you finally got your shit together or I would have have to intervene!"</p>
<p>"Years? What are you talking about?!" Josie demanded again and perhaps she sounded a little bit more defensive than she should have, but surely what Hope was saying made no sense at all. They weren't in love, not really, not Penelope, at least.</p>
<p>Hope was looking at her weirdly, her eyes squinted and brows furrowed and Penelope had tightened the grip on her shoulder only slightly, as if to remind her what they were doing.</p>
<p>"Yes, Josie, years, are you still convinced you were just friends during your whole friendship? Even after this development?" She asked pointing to their bodies so close together.</p>
<p>"So what, just because we had a very close friendship and we are both gay we mathematically had to fall in love and get together?" She demanded and she knew that her response was slightly more energetic than needed and she wasn't even sure if she was trying to convince Hope or herself. Maybe arguing herself out of the idea of being in love with Penelope was the way to get over it. Maybe, if she listed enough cons on it, she would finally realize that she had deluded herself into thinking that what she felt was love, that the kiss had just made her feel lonely and she was imagining feelings that she didn't really have. Yes, that was it. It sounded reasonable enough, tied up in a nice psychological word as well. That must have been the reason. The kiss only screwed her up a little bit, but it was nothing she couldn't fix.</p>
<p>"No, that's not what I'm saying." Hope argued back. "I'm not talking about everybody else. I'm talking about you two and they way you looked at each other and the way you were ready to do anything for the other." She explained and Josie let the words sink in. Oh shit, maybe she did have a point after all, but that didn't mean anything. Penelope was her best friend, of course she cared about her. "Why are you being so weird about it anyway? I was clearly right!" Hope added after a second, flipping her hair in a jokingly manner.</p>
<p>"Don't mind her, she is just trying to win a bet we have going on." Penelope interjected before Josie could put her foot in her mouth even more. "I said that she fell in love with me the first time we met and she is desperately trying to deny it, but I mean, it's just common knowledge, Jojo." She added with an amused smile and Josie scoffed at her over confidently joke.</p>
<p>Their friends laughed at them and Josie relaxed slightly, but it was definitely not because Penelope was drawing strange shapes on her shoulder and surely not because she could feel her whole body pressed against her own. Nuh-uh, not at all.</p>
<p>"So, I've always wondered, is it weird that you kinda already live together?" Hope asked again, resting her head against her hand as if she was seriously pondering the implications of her question.</p>
<p>Landon groaned at his girlfriend's endless curiosity and the two girls looked at each other, trying to hide the panic. They had not thought about that. It had somehow completely slipped their minds.</p>
<p>"I mean... Not really," Penelope answered for the both of them. "We already are so comfortable with each other and know pretty much all there is to know that it makes it easier, I think." She added. "That's the best part of being in a relationship with your best friend." She said looking directly in Josie's eyes with a soft smile.</p>
<p>"So, which bedroom do you sleep in?" Hope asked wiggling her eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Oh, hers." The girls replied in unison, without even thinking about it, their friends titled their heads, looking at them confused.</p>
<p>That was it. Josie thought. She had screwed up beyond repair. And she wasn't sure if she felt relieved or disappointed about it.</p>
<p>"I mean," Penelope spoke up, once again, shrugging relaxed, as if that wasn't a total mess. "What do you mean by sleep?" She asked with a smirk.</p>
<p>Three mouths slacked open at the comment and Josie was the first to react, swatting at her best friend's shoulder lightly as to scold her.</p>
<p>"Oh my..." Hope muttered. "Oh, you know what, I actually retract my question, I really don't want to know ALL of the details."</p>
<p>"She didn't mean it like that." Josie tries to say, fighting hard to hide her blush, but failing miserably.</p>
<p>"Oh, I meant it exactly like that." Penelope countered with a smirk, the brunette turned to look at her.</p>
<p>"Babe," she said with an overly sweet smile. "If you don't stop talking you are gonna sleep on the couch." She added and everybody at the table laughed.</p>
<p>*-*</p>
<p>The rest of the brunch passed by smoothly enough. They moved on to another topic soon after Penelope's comment and Josie couldn't be more grateful.</p>
<p>By the end of it, Josie didn't feel as if she was conning her friends, she felt relaxed and at ease and like everything was normal, which it wasn't, of course, but she could pretend it was. Her heart, surely wanted to believe that lie.</p>
<p>There was an unnatural silence in the car, as the two girls made their way back to their apartment and Josie was afraid that her lie had already started to screw up with their friendship. She was afraid to look at Penelope, afraid of what she would see in her eyes once she did. Scared that the girl was mad at her and would give up on the whole thing. Josie wouldn't have blamed her, of course. She was surprised the raven-haired agreed to her ridiculous idea to begin with. Hope's words rang in her ears again "how you would do anything for each other", that was surely what she meant, who else would go along to a fake relationship just to protect her pride?</p>
<p>Penelope opened the door for the both of them and they had yet to speak a word since they left the restaurant, Josie couldn't take it anymore.</p>
<p>"Are you mad at me?" She asked, her eyes focused on her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the room.</p>
<p>"No," Penelope sighed, deeply. "But we do need to get better at this if you want to make people believe it. We might have saved the situation today, but next time we might not be able to." She added throwing her keys into the bowl next to the entrance.</p>
<p>Josie frowned. She was talking about their performance?</p>
<p>"I meant about me dragging you into this." The brunette said, finally raising her gaze to look at her best friend, who was just as confused.</p>
<p>"I thought we already established that there is nothing we can do about that and moved on from it." She replied.</p>
<p>Josie didn't understand, she didn't understand how her best friend was so casual about it all, but she decided against voicing her thoughts.</p>
<p>"You're right, sorry." She mumbled instead.</p>
<p>"Stop worrying about it," Penelope said almost exasperatedly, but still with a loving smile on her lips. She hugged her best friend tightly. "We are going to be ok and everyone will believe it and your sister will be so blinded by our love for each other that she'll question every life choice she had ever made." The raven-haired added in a whisper and Josie knew that those words were meant to lighten the mood, to make her laugh, but all she could do was shiver at the hot breath hitting against the shell of her ear. A deep dark feeling hit her in the pit of her stomach. She felt bad for having those feelings when the other girl was trying to make her feel better. She almost felt like a predator, as if she had unconsciously made the whole thing up just to be able to feel what she couldn't have, what she wouldn't admit to herself she wanted. Did she? Were her thoughts so wrapped up in layers of denial that they only came out bursting as a defense mechanism when her sister's words hit her? Was that even possible? She wasn't sure, but her head was spinning again, down the rabbit hole and out of control. She thought she had an handle on it. She was clearly wrong.</p>
<p>So she did what she did best. She shot a grateful smile to her best friend and she disappeared to her room. She had to resist the urge to lock the door behind her, she felt like she needed the physical distance to get her head straight, but Penelope would definitely notice that something was wrong if she locked the door, so she buried herself in school work instead, hoping it would distract her enough to forget about the whole thing.</p>
<p>It didn't.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Ring Ring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In hindsight, the sensible thing to do, the smart thing to do, would have been acknowledge all those pent up feelings and emotions and analyze them, so that she could accept it and find a way to get over them. So of course, Josie did the exact opposite. Because she was the kind of person that would rather analyze and talk about everybody else's feelings rather than her own.</p><p>Her go-to move was bury her feelings, diminish them, belittle them until she truly did believe they didn't matter as much as everybody else's, which was very unhealthy to say the least. She knew that. She has been told that many many times (mostly by her best friend, but by her mother too), still she couldn't help herself. She felt like if she pushed her feelings away for long enough they would just disappear and she wouldn't get hurt by them and she usually was very good at it. Practice really did make perfect, but in that case, with those specific feelings, she was having more trouble than usual and she didn't have her best friend to confide in that time. Because she could definitely not discuss her feelings (and how to forget about them) for someone to that someone, that was just basic math.</p><p>So she had more sleepless nights and more headaches and she was just about to kill the person who was blowing up her phone that morning, because if she had to read that sentence one more time...</p><p>RING</p><p>She exhaled deeply. Maybe taking her frustration out on the person bent on making her phone light up every five seconds would be a good way to get back to her usual collected self. She was sure it was the telemarketer anyway, so they should be trained on getting insulted on a daily basis, right?</p><p>"Listen, you annoying baboon, can you not take a hint after I ignored your call the first twenty times you called?!" She almost shouted at the phone, picking it up without sparing a second glance at the number displayed on it.</p><p>"Josette Saltzman! Is that a way to answer to your mother?!" The woman replied, shocked at her daughter's words.</p><p>Josie was just about to drop the phone and throw herself out of the window. That's how mortified she was.</p><p>"Oh my... Mum, I'm so sorry, I thought it was a telemarketer or something." She apologized, abandoning the book altogether and dropping on her bed.</p><p>"Still, it's no way to answer, I thought I taught you better than that." Caroline added.</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry, it's just that I have a massive headache and my phone had been ringing nonstop for the past hour.." she tried to explain.</p><p>"Yeah, I know. I was the one calling." She deadpanned.</p><p>"Oh," awkward pause. "Sorry about that too?" The brunette said in a grimace, she was going to have to do some grovelling next time she saw her mother.</p><p>"Mmh," the blonde replied unimpressed. "So, what got you in a such terrible mood?"</p><p>"Just homework," it was a lie, she was becoming awfully good at that too, which should have been worrying. Josie frowned briefly, then she looked at the screen again. "Mum, where are you calling from? This is not your phone." She said confused.</p><p>"Oh yeah, after the first dozen missed calls I left you, I thought you might answer if you didn't see my name, so I called with the hotel phone." Her mother replied and Josie felt even worse. What had gotten into her?</p><p>"I'm really sorry, mum, I wasn't avoiding you on purpose, I was kinda avoiding everyone." She explained. Did that really make it any better? Probably not.</p><p>"Did something happen with your girlfriend?" The blonde asked and Josie knew that tone, it was the tone of disappointment and contained excitement altogether. A special tone that she was sure her mother invented, or maybe it was her sister. Anyway, it was definitely her family's secret recipe.</p><p>"My what now?"</p><p>"Your girlfriend." The woman replied unfazed by her daughter's tactics. "Because that's why I was calling. Josette, you should be ashamed of yourself! I had to find out about your relationship from your sister." She said.</p><p>Of course. Of course Lizzie had called their mother too. Who did she tell next? That was the question that worried her. "Why didn't you tell me?" Caroline asked and it almost sounded like a whine. Josie closed her eyes and sighed deeply, she really didn't think she could take another guilt trip about the fictional relationship she had created only a couple days before and told no one about. "Did you think I wouldn't be supportive? Because you know how much I love Penelope, right?" Her mother sounded really bummed and almost hurt about it all too and Josie was seconds away from telling her the whole truth, but then she remembered Lizzie's smug smile and superiority complex and she bit her tongue.</p><p>"Mum, I'm sorry, honestly I was just waiting to see where it was going, I didn't want to get any more pressure on what we had, we were trying to figure it out first." She said and it almost sounded reasonable. God, what had her life turned into? Fake girlfriends, lies left and right, what was next? She could bring someone back from the dead and then they could make a telenovela out of it.</p><p>She could hear her mother sigh on the other side of the phone.</p><p>"I get it," she said. She did? "I still wish you would have confided in me, but I understand." She added. "Maybe we can have a dinner all together when I'm back in town, that way you guys can tell me all the details." Why were people so invested in that relationship? Didn't they have better things to do? Josie asked herself.</p><p>"Sure." She replied out loud, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I'm sure Penelope will love the idea." She added.</p><p>"Oh, and maybe try to tell your dad before your sister does, you know how he gets about these things..." The woman suggested.</p><p>How did he get about those things? Squirmy? Awkward? So flushed in the face that he looked like a red bell pepper? Yeah. She knew. She had learned the hard way when she first told him she was gay, he almost bolted out of the room covering his ears with his hands like a little kid. He had then come to her room more collected and told her that he was really happy she had found herself and he didn't care that she liked girls, but that he really wanted to hear less details possible about her relationships whether it was with guys or girls.</p><p>"If she didn't already..." Josie muttered under her breath and if her mother heard her, she didn't metion it.</p><p>"Ok, well, I have to go now, I somehow spent my whole afternoon chasing after my daughter." Caroline said with a hint of teasing in her voice. "But, sweetie, I'm really glad you and Penelope found your way to each other, I'd  always known you two were meant for each other." And why did those words make Josie want to crawl into a ball and cry her eyes out? "And please take care of yourself." She added and then the brunette really wished she could talk to her mother about all those emotions that were trying to overwhelm her, but she bit her tongue once again and she muttered a goodbye instead, ending the call before she could take any rushed decisions.</p><p>She looked at her text book, abandoned on her desk and pondered whether she should try and go back to it or admit defeat. She could feel her overbearing thoughts peek from their hiding places under the imaginary rug in her mind and she quickly got up to head for the kitchen. She was going to need caffeine (and a lot of it) if she was going to tackle her homework again.</p><p>Of course, Penelope was in the kitchen. Perched on one of the kitchen stools bent over her own school work and Josie honestly felt like a creep, admiring her best friend from the hallway. She forcefully shook her head and moved inside the room to make herself a couple of coffee.</p><p>"My mum called," she said as a way of letting the other girl know she was there as well and the brunette could swear Penelope almost fell off the chair due to the surprise of hearing her voice.</p><p>"Oh, nice, what did she tell you?" The raven-haired played cool and Josie hid her smile well.</p><p>"My sister called her to let her know we were together." She replied, her tone free of any emotion, although she had many on the subject.</p><p>"Oh, how nice of her, is she going to set a press conference next?" She asked ironically, her eyes still focused on her notebook. "Honestly I can't understand why you haven't told her a piece of your mind yet." She added.</p><p>"Well, you saw what happens when I try to..." Josie replied putting the coffee powder in the machine. "Who knows what'll come out of my mouth next?"</p><p>"I don't know..." Penelope said pensively, as if she was actually thinking about it. "I mean, we are already living together, so moving in is out of the question..." She added and Josie's lips turned into an involuntary smile. "So I guess we would be engaged next?" She asked making the other one laugh properly that time.</p><p>"Either that or we are having kids..." The brunette shot back, leaning on the opposite side of the counter as she waited for the coffee to be ready.</p><p>"What happened to our puppies?" Penelope asked with a frown.</p><p>"We can have them when the kids are a bit older." Josie replied and she didn't realize it, but they had gotten so close that they were both leaning over the counter, almost straining their necks so that their faces would be just a few centimeters apart. Josie caught herself as her eyes trained down to look on the raven-haired's lips. She wouldn't admit it to anyone (not even herself), but ever since their kiss it had been almost impossible to stop thinking about how good her best friend's lips had felt on her own, how perfectly they seemed to fit together and just how right it felt to be kissing them. Having conversations about engagements, future kids and shared puppies was definitely not helping her poor, confused heart and Josie pulled away from the table, trying as hard as possible not to make it look like she was jumping away (which she pretty much was). Josie turned around, grateful for the excuse of checking on the coffee, not daring to look at the raven-haired. Did she notice how close they were? Could she see it in her eyes that all she wanted to do was close the distance and kiss her? And if she did notice how did she feel about it? Was she repulsed, scared to be living with someone who was pretty much taking advantage of the lie she had created? Josie couldn't take the questions anymore, so she got her cup and fled the kitchen as soon as possible and it was honestly a miracle that she didn't spill any of its contents on the floor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey, look what we got in the mail today!" Josie said as she got inside the apartment with the few envelopes they had in their mail box (mostly bills, of course).</p><p>Penelope appeared from the kitchen, to look over her shoulder.</p><p>"Is that MG's invite?" She asked confused, munching on an apple. "Why did we got it in the mail? Are we back in 1885 or something?"</p><p>"Yeah, I know, right?" The brunette agreed. "Oh, wait, I shouldn't make fun of it because my sister might be asking for something similar for our birthday." She thought.</p><p>Penelope snickered.</p><p>"Can you imagine if we get one in the mail as well?" She said laughing. "That would be so absurd that I would definitely not pass up the occasion to make fun of it."</p><p>"But wait, didn't we already got invited to MG's party like three months ago?" Josie asked confused.</p><p>"I guess those are the details." Penelope shrugged. "Let's find out what pompous dress we should fish out from the very back of our closets?" She asked going back to throw away her finished fruit.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Josie said as she read over the words on the obnoxiously rich parchment.</p><p>"What?" Penelope asked peeking her head from the kitchen, not at all concerned, but very curious.</p><p>"It's a pool party!" Josie revealed, still shocked.</p><p>The raven-haired raised both eyebrows, her and MG were very close and yet he had somewhat failed to mention that very important piece of information.</p><p>"Well, I guess, we are going to need to fish out our most pompous swimsuit from the back of our closets, then." She replied shrugging, disappearing again in the apartment, but Josie couldn't move.</p><p>Great. That was just what she needed. More skin to ogle on. As if it wasn't hard enough to keep her emotions in check when Penelope was fully clothed, now she had to try and not be a complete creep at a party with her very gorgeous, very half naked best friend. PERFECT.</p><p>*-*</p><p>The few days before MG's party went by in a blur and were pretty uneventful. Josie spent most of them debating whether she could go away with skipping the party altogether, deciding at last that she couldn't. The rest of the time was spent in front of the mirror, regretting the extra waffle she ate at brunch the Sunday before and the pizza she had devoured just earlier that day, she had also spent it wishing she could have done more crunches and less thinking, but that was a whole other matter.</p><p>She was currently on her third bikini, trying it on to see whether it still fitted and if it was good enough for a pool party. She hated pool parties. She didn't see the point behind it, she hated that there were usually too many people for her to get in a pool anyway, but she still had to wear the stupid bikini and she hated that it made her feel so self conscious.</p><p>The current swimsuit was black, which was a great color for that type of attire, in her opinion and it definitely made her look just a little bit skinnier than she was, which was an added plus, in her opinion. She wasn't sure if it was enough. She also wasn't sure what she was going for and what that "enough" meant.</p><p>"You look gorgeous, stop obsessing over it." Penelope said appearing in the doorway and Josie almost got a heart attack. Had she always been that sneaky or did she just got some new abilities of appearing out of smoke? But most importantly, how long had she been standing there?</p><p>Josie tried not to blush.</p><p>"You think?" She asked, still looking at herself. "I don't know..." She confessed.</p><p>"Josie, I'm serious! You look absolutely stunning and remember that I'm your fake girlfriend, so you should believe me." Penelope added with a smirk. The brunette rolled her eyes and looked again at the mirror.</p><p>Stupid society and model size expectations.</p><p>"Jojo, you really have nothing to be self conscious about," Penelope muttered and now she was standing right behind her. When did she even get so close? "You look beautiful." She added laying her hands gently on her shoulders to turn her away from the mirror. "And I can assure you that everyone at the party will be drooling after you and I'll have to fight countless idiots as a result for my jealousy," she added with a dramatic sigh. "I have it all planned out." She revealed with a smug look on her face and Josie couldn't help but laugh.</p><p>"Can't wait to see it."</p><p>It wasn't long after that they were in the car, heading towards MG's house. The boy's parents were incredibly wealthy and he had somehow managed to turn out as the most kind hearted and humble human being they knew. He even had a job in a coffee shop because he didn't want to live off completely on his parents' money, but for a day a year, he turned into a whiny and entitled child who absolutely had to have everything he wanted. The day after his birthday he would go back to his normal self, as if nothing had ever happened.</p><p>Even if they lived in California, mid January was definitely not the time of year to be having a pool party, but that's what MG wanted and not even mother nature could get in the way. So his parents had made modifications so that their outside pool would be sheltered and heated.</p><p>As the two girls entered the area, that it was already filled with people, Josie's mouth slacked open. Her parents were well off and she knew that her and Lizzie had a comfortable life, but that was a whole other level.</p><p>It was like they had built a depandance around the pool. The walls were made of glass and the rays of sun of the early afternoon were coming through, illuminating the whole room without needing any artificial help.</p><p>Josie couldn't help but stare in awe, she had to admit it was beautiful and she couldn't help but wonder how much time it had taken to build it and how much money. How long had MG been planning for that party?</p><p>"Girls, you're here!" The birthday boy said enthusiastically, opening his arms wide to greet them.</p><p>They both smiled and went to hug him.</p><p>"Happy Birthday, man." Penelope said offering the bag with their present.</p><p>"Oh thank you, you didn't need to." But of course they did.</p><p>"This place looks amazing." Josie said honestly, looking around one more time.</p><p>"Yeah, it's not half bad, is it?" He agreed.</p><p>"Well, don't let me stop you. Get undressed..." He stopped mid sentence, realizing what he had just said. "Ehm... That came out wrong." He countered right after.</p><p>"You came out wrong." Penelope replied rolling her eyes playfully.</p><p>"What I meant was that you are wearing too many clothes." He tried again and both girls raised their eyebrows at him.</p><p>"I might have drank already a bit more than I should have, but you know what? I'm not gonna say another word, you guys enjoy the party and I'll see you later, ok?" He said and then he left.</p><p>"Well," Penelope said leaning closer to whisper in Josie's ear. "He was right about one thing..." The brunette was sure her whole face looked as bright as a tomato, or maybe even worse than that. There were chills spreading through her whole body and she quickly regretted having that rational part of her brain that told her that she couldn't miss the party. "I guess he did drink more than he should have." She finished with a smirk and Josie didn't know if she was sighing in relief or disappointment. Was it so bad that she wanted Penelope to tell her something probably inappropriate in her ear? Maybe. Was it so bad that she thought she needed a cold shower just for thinking that Penelope was going to say something inappropriate in her ear? Definitely.</p><p>That day was going to be very long.</p><p>As she was trailing behind her best friend, going god knows where, she spotted her sister sitting on a lounge chair in between Rafael's legs and her day had just become interminable.</p><p>Josie attempted a small wave in Lizzie's direction and the blonde nodded in response. Was that all their relationship had become? A wave and a nod?</p><p>The brunette sighed, she was exhausted already.</p><p>"My sister is here." She whispered to the raven-haired as soon as she caught up with her.</p><p>"Yeah, I know, I saw her when we were talking to MG." The girl replied shrugging and it suddenly clicked in Josie's head. That was the reason why she had whispered in her ear. She felt so stupid. Of course she had done it on purpose, the was the whole point of their fake relationship thing. Penelope sounded so casual about it that Josie was reassured she was the only one whose lines got blurry. "Do you want to go in the pool or wait a bit?" The raven-haired asked, as if everything was normal.</p><p>"Ehm, yeah, sure, why don't we go in the pool?" She replied, trying to shake those burdening thoughts from her head. If Penelope could be cool about it, so could she. She could kiss her and touch her and look at her exposed body and not feel anything at all, she could do it for the benefit of keeping up the appearance and nothing more. Or at least she was sure going to try, she had waited years for the revelation to come to her, she could surely wait a few more hours and let her go through with their performance.</p><p>*-*</p><p>As it turned out, try to push all her overwhelming thoughts about her best friend while being pressed against her with basically no clothes on was harder than she had anticipated. Who would have thought?</p><p>Josie really tried to focus on what the raven-haired was telling her, but the feeling of warm naked skin pressed against her own was overloading her brain, making her able to think only about that sensation.</p><p>"Why does your sister look pissed seeing us together?"  Josie registered the question and she knew her best friend was waiting for an answer, but all her thoughts were focused on those alluring lips right in front of her eyes. Honestly how could anyone expect her to focus on anything else but Penelopeas mouth after experiencing how good it felt against her own?</p><p>Her mind didn't even register what she was doing until it was too late, until her lips were pressed tightly against Penelope's.</p><p>It felt just as amazing as she remembered and she was sure in that moment that there was no chance she could ever get over those feelings, there was no way she could find someone else who made her feel the same emotions with just one kiss.</p><p>If Penelope was surprised by the action, she didn't show it, instead she kissed Josie back just as passionately.</p><p>After what felt like definitely not enough, Penelope pushed back, ending their kiss. Their  eyes met and Josie had to resist the urge to bow her head in shame; she really had no idea where all of her self-control had gone.</p><p>There was something that Josie couldn't decipher in Penelope's eyes, something she knew she had seen before but couldn't place.</p><p>It looked like the raven-haired was on the verge of saying something and Josie panicked, convinced that Penelope was about to figure everything out.</p><p>"Lizzie was watching." She blurted out before she could even think, that sounded like a good enough excuse in their current situation to suddenly attack her best friend with a kiss.</p><p>Josie saw the change in her gaze, it almost looked sad, but certainly that was just her imagination.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry for the late upload, very busy week :)<br/>Hope you liked.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. It gets complicated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the party was uneventful, Josie stuck with Penelope through the entire time, never more than a meter a part.</p><p>The brunette didn't speak to her sister once and the thought bothered her more than she was willing to admit. Her sister had treated her poorly to say the least the past year or so, but she still couldn't help but think that part of it was her fault too. She couldn't help but feel responsible for the silence and cold stares between them.</p><p>When she stopped to really think about it, her whole plan seemed petty and stupid, but how could she tell the truth then?</p><p>"You've been really quiet today," Penelope said as they were driving back home. "Everything ok?"</p><p>Josie was almost startled at the sudden noise, she had been so entranced by her thoughts that she had completely forgotten she wasn't alone.</p><p>"Yeah, just thinking." She replied honestly.</p><p>"Anything in particular?" Penelope pressed cautiously, she knew Josie wasn't one to share her feelings openly or loudly. After years of friendship Penelope liked to think that she had mastered the art to make the brunette talk and express herself, it took some gentle prodding and sometimes some silly lines, but eventually Josie would always open up to her.</p><p>"Lizzie." Josie replied dryly. "I just can't believe this is all is left of our relationship. We used to be inseparable and now I barely know her."</p><p>Penelope didn't reply at first, she took a hold of her hand and squeezed lightly to show her support.</p><p>"I know things are rocky now, but it doesn't mean that's how they'll always be." The raven-haired muttered after a moment, Josie looked at her, surprised.</p><p>"You don't like my sister." She stated matter of factly, confused at the sudden change of heart.</p><p>"I really don't, I think she treats you poorly and doesn't deserve all the attention you gave her when you were younger, but she is your sister and I can see how much not having her in your life is affecting you and I hate seeing you unhappy more than I hate Lizzie." Penelope admitted, eyes focused on the road and thumb grazing gently at her best friend's hand.</p><p>Josie stared at her, looked over every inch of skin on her face. She was suddenly overwhelmed by the inexplicable urge to kiss the girl next to her. She could sense the bubbly feelings in her chest worm their ways up to her throat, threatening to spill out with embarrassing words. She knew what she was feeling. She wasn't THAT oblivious, but she still couldn't fathom the idea of confessing them to her best friend. Those simple three words might as well have been a time bomb, ready to explode and ruin everything.</p><p>Sure, the idea of being rejected was painful and slightly humiliating, but the mere thought of not having the raven-haired by her side while going through life was more devastating than anything else.</p><p>She absolutely could not let that happen.</p><p>"Maybe we should call it quits on this whole thing." She blurted out instead.</p><p>"What?" Penelope asked confused, only sparing her a quick glance in face of not crashing the car somewhere. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"It's petty and it probably won't accomplish anything. So what if my sister thinks that I'm a loner that can't get a relationship? It's probably true anyway." She said moving her gaze to glance outside of the window just as a distraction.</p><p>"Jojo, don't say that. You are better than that." The girl chatistied. "Don't think less of yourself just because Lizzie says so. You are crazy beautiful and incredibly smart, anyone would be lucky to date you."</p><p>"Sure, but it doesn't count if you say it..." Josie replied dismissively.</p><p>A flash of something undescribable morphed Penelope's expression for a brief second, before she could regain control and bring back her stoic facade.</p><p>"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked after a long silence in which she contemplated whether or not to say anything.</p><p>To Josie, Penelope's tone was unreadable, her best friend was a master at hiding her emotions, she was way better than her in that department. Penelope was passionate and she cared more than people would think just looking at her, but she was always so composed and impenetrable that it was hard even for Josie to take a peek inside her heart sometimes.</p><p>"Well, you are my best friend I think you are morally obligated to pay me compliments every now and then, but it doesn't mean other people will think of me as you do." She tried to explain, looking only very briefly at the raven-haired at her side.</p><p>"Well, then they are idiots!" Penelope said shrugging her shoulders as if it was the only logical explanation and Josie couldn't help but laugh at that.</p><p>-*-</p><p>Days turned into weeks faster than the two roommates realized and soon enough it was the 13th of February.</p><p>Hope had asked her to go shopping for the afternoon, a way to catch up while checking one more item off her busy to do list, or so she told Josie when she had invited her.</p><p>"So, how are things with Penelope?" Hope asked. To be fair, she did say 'hi' before asking that question, so Josie applauded her self control.</p><p>"Good, everything is going great, actually." The brunette replied avoiding her gaze.</p><p>"Are you doing something special for tomorrow?" She asked again, her expression slightly less cheerful then just a few minutes before.</p><p>"Special? For what?" Josie was puzzled was she missing something?</p><p>"It's San Valentine's day tomorrow! Tell me you did not forget!" Hope said in disbelief.</p><p>"Oh shoot, is it tomorrow?"</p><p>Honestly she did not forget, she knew perfectly well what day it was tomorrow, the number was engraved in her memory and not only because she had an exam, but also because she dreaded the occurance so much. She could barely function on a normal day living with her best friend turned into fake girlfriend whom she had VERY SERIOUS feelings for, how could she survive the epitome of love?</p><p>"Jo? Are you sure everything is ok between you two?" Her friend asked her and she could hear the care and worry laced in her tone.</p><p>She was about to crack, she didn't think she could take it much longer. The lies, the denying it was all becoming too much.</p><p>"Actually, I could use a girl talk..." She admitted.</p><p>-*-</p><p>She couldn't tell her all the truth, she knew as much, but she absolutely needed to talk about her thoughts and feelings with someone before she exploded.</p><p>Hope lead them to a nearby coffee shop wordlessly, opting to wait for a quiet place to hear her friend out, instead of coaxing the information out of her on the street.</p><p>The taller girl, in the mean time, was trying to find a way to confide in her friend without having to tell her ALL the truth.</p><p>"Ok, so, what's up?" Hope asked after she had find a booth at the very back of the coffe shop and had ordered two lattes.</p><p>Josie's gaze was fixed on her hands, trying hard to contain the river of words and truths that was trying to burst out of her.</p><p>"I..." I am in love with my best friend but she doesn't and can't know because right now we are only pretend to be in a relationship. But she couldn't say that, could she? "I..." She tried again, then she took a deep breath. "Have you ever felt like your feelings were too strong?" She manged to say after a while.</p><p>There, it sounded neutral enough.</p><p>"Mmh," the other girl's eyebrows were furrowed as if was trying to understand something very complicated, but in Josie's mind the question wasn't that complicated. "What do you mean?" Hope asked finally.</p><p>And Josie felt like an eye roll was just about the right reaction in that case. She was exasperated. Tired of having to keep all those thoughts and feeling for herself, scared about losing the respect and trust of all of their friends if they found out about the massive lie she had been telling them for a month, but most of all scared of losing Penelope due to her true feelings.</p><p>"I meant exactly what I said, Hope! How else could I explain it?" She snapped and the other girl looked very taken aback.</p><p>"Uo, Jo, I'm sorry, ok. Just.." the waiter arrived with their order, interrupting the conversation and Josie was almost glad for that.</p><p>She brought a hand to her temple, rubbing the spot, it was impossible it could do any good to the headache she had, but it didn't hurt to try. Honestly she was shocked her head was still in one piece after a month of the constant rummaging of her thoughts.</p><p>"I just wish I could help you and I can't do that if I don't understand." Hope said after the waiter left.</p><p>Josie exhaled profoundly. Passing her fingers through her hair . She had known Hope for a lifetime. Their parents were friends, so they had practically grew up together like sisters, she felt bad for lying to her, but it was worst not being able to confide in her and get her advice on the whole ordeal, although she knew she would have called her crazy for what she was doing. She couldn't help but agree.</p><p>"I think that for years, I've tried to convince myself that I didn't have feelings for Penelope, that I thought of her as just my best friend and now, now...."</p><p>"Now your mind is having troubles catching up." Hope finished for her.</p><p>Josie nodded.</p><p>"I think it's normal, you can't expect to unravel years of repressed feelings in a month or two. You should give yourself time to accept and understand everything you are feeling." She added taking Josie's hand to try and comfort her. The taller girl nodded, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.</p><p>Of course it wasn't as easy as her friend made it out to be, but she felt a little better. For a moment she felt like she wasn't pretending, like she could be herself with all her insecurities and fears. It had been hard that past month, lying to everyone. She was lying to her friends about a relationship she didn't have and she was lying to her best friend pretending to not want a relationship they only had for pretence.</p><p>"Have you talked about this with Penelope?"</p><p>Josie shook her head quickly, terrified at the idea and Hope looked at her skeptically.</p><p>"Why not?" She asked puzzled.</p><p>"Sometimes I still can't believe we are actually together." She said truthfully. "Sometimes I feel like if I pour on her all my fears and doubts she might leave me." She admitted. That was just the pure truth. She was afraid that Penelope might leave if she told her how she really felt. She just couldn't risk losing their friendship, it was too important.</p><p>"I get that, Jo, changing your relationship can be scary, but you know Penelope better than anyone, she would literally do ANYTHING for you, do you really think she would leave you for that?"</p><p>Josie shrugged, she didn't know and that was exactly the point. The unknown was the scariest thing of all.</p><p>She knew Penelope loved her, she was her best friend it was to be expected. But how could someone like her Penelope strong, charismatic, super hot would ever be interested in having a romantic relationship with her?</p><p>Suddenly her sister's words rang in her head, the constant reminder that she would never be like Lizzie. She could never control a room the way her sister did, she usually stood in a corner. She could never get any girl or guy she wanted, they would all fall at her sister feet. She was a good friend, someone who would listen to all your problems and try to fix them. She was a good daughter, good at school and never creating any problems. But she wasn't great at relationships she was awkward and shy and she had been comparing every (few) person who had shown interest in her to Penelope. All four couldn't stand the comparison, of course, because there was no one like Penelope, no one that cared as much or that made her feel as comfortable.</p><p>"Jo? Hey, Jo? Are you ok?" Hope asked waving a hand in front of her face.</p><p>"Yes, ehm, yes, sorry I spaced out."</p><p>"Look, just talk to her, ok? I'm sure it'll be fine. After all you two were meant for each other."</p><p>She said it with so much confidence that Josie truly wanted to believe it, she really did, but she couldn't. Getting her hopes up would only lead to more heartbreak and she wasn't sure her heart could take much more damage at the moment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you are enjoying. Let me know what you think.<br/>I think this is going to take more than 15 chapters...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Pains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Jojo?" Penelope's voice rang through the seemingly empty apartment. She was sure the other girl was supposed to be at home at this hour. "Jojo?" She asked again, knocking at the younger's room door.</p><p>"I'm in here." The voice sounded tired and when Penelope entered the room, it was dark and the air was stuffy.</p><p>"When was the last time you got out of bed?" Penelope asked with a worried expression on her face. "Or took a shower." She then added sitting on the bed.</p><p>"Not too long ago, thank you very much." The brunette replied defensively.</p><p>"What's wrong?" The raven-haired asked finding in the dark somehow her best friend's back to draw soothing circles on it.</p><p>"I'm on my period. Life sucks." She responded dramatically and Penelope had to stifle the urge to laugh at her.</p><p>"Is it hurting?"</p><p>"Of course it's hurting, why else would I be in this state if not!?!" She snapped. "Sorry, I'm sorry." She added a second later. "I am no longer controlled by my mind but my hormones are now directing my actions. Take cover."</p><p>"Do you want something warm a tea or something like that?" Penelope asked, ignoring the lash out.</p><p>"No, thank you I don't think my churning insides can handle that." She admitted sighing, she hid further in the soft pillows, trying to relax her aching muscles, until she felt Penelope lay next to her and hugging her from behind.</p><p>"What.. what are you doing?" She asked panicking, her relaxation techniques long forgotten, her mind was overpowered with just one simple touch. Her body had a mind of its own when it came to Penelope.</p><p>"Try to relax." The girl said close to her ear.</p><p>As if Josie could relax having the main character of her latest dreams and fantasies laying behind her...</p><p>Penelope started drawing soothing circles on her stomach and Josie was sure she wasn't going to survive the afternoon.</p><p>After a while Josie's defenses crumpled and she relished in the warmth and safety she felt in her best friend's arms. She wasn't sure if it was all in her head, but she could swear whatever the raven-haired was doing was working. She could feel her muscles relaxing and the pain dissipate or maybe it was only due to the fact that all her thoughts were focused on feeling the other girl's body pressed against her back.</p><p>They stayed like that for a long time, Josie didn't know for how long and she was almost certain that she had fallen asleep at a certain time.</p><p>"Jojo?" The raven-haired called after so long that her mouth felt dry and her lips chappy.</p><p>"Mmh?" The brunette mumbled in response.</p><p>"Are you sure that everything is ok?" She asked and Josie could almost feel the worry in het tone.</p><p>"A part from my insides turning and twisting in my abdomen? Yes, everythyng is ok, why?"</p><p>"I don't know, it's just that lately it feels like you are somehow distant..." She tried to explain.</p><p>The taller girl fought against the urge to stiffen again, they were too close for the other not to notice her change of posture.</p><p>"No, I've just been really really busy with school work, that's all." How many more lies could she tell?</p><p>"Are you sure? Because if it is about our fake relationship you need to tell me, ok? We swore we wouldn't let it come between our friendship..." Penelope said, as if she didn't remember the pact herself. As if the possibility of ruining their friendship hadn't been the only thing she could focus on for the last month.</p><p>"I know, I know." Josie said quickly, not letting her finish the thought. "I don't want anything to come in between us, I can't." She added, honestly. "Really, Penny, you've been my rock through everything in the last ten years or so, I don't want to lose you." She admitted, turning around in her best friend's arms.</p><p>"Why would you lose me?" The raven-haired asked skeptically.</p><p>"I don't know." Josie lied shrugging. "I just can't."</p><p>"Don't worry, Jojo, you won't get rid of me so easily." The girl replied tightening her embrace to hold Josie closer. If it had been someone else, the sentence might have sounded threatening and awkward, but hearing it from Penelope made Josie feel calmer and like everything was going to feel alright. It made her feel like all her problems were going to vanish if she just believed those words and stayed a little bit longer in the girl's embrace.</p><p>~*~</p><p>Josie woke up much later. She wasn't sure how long she had been sleeping for, but the sun wasn't trying to come in through the curtains anymore, so she figured it had to be for quite sometime.</p><p>She felt something warm against her back and she smiled instantly when she realized Penelope was still there, holding her.</p><p>She felt groggy and her mind was a little fuzzy, she knew she should have gotten up to do something productive with the rest of her day, or evening, but her heart couldn't possibly fathom the thought of leaving that bed. Not when she felt this comfortable, not when Penelope was holding her so gently.</p><p>She tried to fight off the sleep for as long as she could, she wanted to be conscious to enjoy as much as could the feeling of being in Penelope's arms, but her eyes and her mind didn't listen and soon after she slipped back into the dream world.</p><p>When she woke up again, Penelope wasn't in her bed anymore.</p><p>Josie rubbed her eyes to try and push away the tiredness from her mind, her mind was already running, thinking about Penelope and her arms and her smile, oh her beautiful smile and...</p><p>"Hey, you are finally awake." Her best friend's voice called from the doorway. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Groggy and my head is hurting." Josie said whining, her eyes still closed, because she couldn't bear to look at the light coming from the hallway or maybe because she couldn't bear to look at Penelope.</p><p>She felt the bed dip and a hand land gently on her stomach.</p><p>"I was coming to get you, I made some dinner, you should eat something." The girl suggested drawing circles on her belly and it was hard for Josie to not shiver.</p><p>"I think I have a bit of nausea, I don't feel like eating."</p><p>"Jojo, at least some of it, please. Just to get some of your strength back." Penelope asked again.</p><p>The brunette knew in her heart that she didn't really have the will to refuse anything her best friend would ask of her. She couldn't when she was feeling a 100%, there was definitely no chance of happening when she was partially impaired.</p><p>So she gave in.</p><p>Penelope did not even try to mask her smirk when the girl relented.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I apologise for the quick chapter, next one it will be longer and more eventful..</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Keep it together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another week went by.</p><p>Penelope was still unable to stop replying the kiss they had over a month ago. Every time Josie was near her, talking to her, her eyes would involuntarily train on the brunette's lips. It was honestly starting to become a problem.</p><p>Her friendship with Josie had been challenging for her at times, but she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.</p><p>She thought it was bad when she started to pine after her best friend in the summer between middle school and high school, little did she know she would find herself in that predicament.</p><p>She thought she was completely mental when she accepted to go live together with the girl she had been having feelings for for at least four years and now this.<br/><br/>
A fake relationship.</p><p>What was she thinking when she agreed to it?</p><p>How could she think she could handle it?</p><p>She was barely keeping it together and if she was honest, in hindsight, it truly was a miracle that she was able to make it this far.</p><p>She surely deserved a plack or a medal for being able to keep her feelings a secret for over six years.</p><p>She felt selfish, really selfish, but she just wanted to take advantage as much as could of that opportunity, after all, she wasn't the one who proposed the idea.</p><p>Most of the time her mind kept trying to come up with ways she could use the fake relationship to understand how it would be like to have a real relationship with the girl she had been in love for too long.</p><p>It felt great when they were out, when there was people around them and Josie had to play along, but as soon as they entered their apartment she could feel her best friend put as much distance between them as she possibly could and Penelope's heart would break all over again.</p><p>She didn't know how many more times she could patch it back up, it already felt beyond repair, she could feel the unrepairable cracks between the pieces.<br/>
The fact that her feelings weren't reciprocated hurt her, but not having Josie in her life was unbearable and she could not let that happen.</p><p>"We should go out." She blurted out. They were having breakfast and her mind had been going in circles for almost ten minutes trying to figure out a way to bring back their friendship. "Just you and me." She added. "It's been a while since we've done something, just the two of us I mean. I kinda miss it." That was the most truthful she had been in months. She missed Josie, the fact that it felt like they were growing apart, it was killing her.</p><p>She knew Josie wasn't THAT busy with school work, she had been living with the other girl long enough to know when she was studying and when she was procrastinating and she was usually the one to help Josie procrastinate. She wasn't sure if Josie lied because of the awkward tension after their kiss or because of something else, but People couldn't let it go on any further.</p><p>Josie looked up from her big cup of coffee with those big doe eyes and she almost looked frightened.</p><p>"Did you have something in mind?" She asked and to Penelope it was so clear that she was almost looked frightened.</p><p>"Let's go to the grill for lunch today," she proposed, she almost held her breath while she waited for confirmation, she was so scared Josie would say no.</p><p>"Ok, sure." The brunette answered.</p><p>Penelope beamed at her, happy with the answer and she leaped off of her stool to take her cup to the sink.</p><p>"Penny..." Josie called as she was rinsing the cup.<br/>
"Yeah?"</p><p>"We are ok, right?" The girl asked and the raven-haired turned around swiftly, surprised by the question. Josie looked so vulnerable in that moment that Penelope's heart ached.</p><p>"Of course we are, Jojo." She replied moving towards her best friend to hug her tightly.</p><p>When Josie had first voiced her fear of losing Penelope the week before, the raven-haired swore to herself she was going to keep her feelings secret for as long as she could.</p><p>So what if all she could think about was kissing those alluring lips again?</p><p>So what if all her body wanted was to be as close as possible to Josie?</p><p>She had kept her feelings in check for many years, surely she could keep them under bay for a while longer.</p><p>Unfortunately kissing the girl of your dreams seemed to be a though genie to put back in the box and no matter how much Penelope wanted to keep her promise, she wasn't sure it was possible.</p><p>--*--</p><p>The grill was the best and probably only restaurant at a decent walking decent to their apartment. Josie suggested they'd leave the car parked for the day, to save the environment and because it was such a nice day.</p><p>The sun was shining high in the sky and the fresh air was a welcome change to the stuffy rooms.</p><p>The many exams Penelope had lined up one after the other for that month were, strangely enough, an appropriate distraction from the rumbling feelings and thoughts that were messing with her head, so she had spent most of the week in her room or in the kitchen laptop to the side notes and books sprawled on every surface she could find, trying to prepare at her best.</p><p>"So, how is your studying?" Asked Josie after a few steps.</p><p>They hadn't muttered a word since they had exited the apartment.</p><p>"Good. I need a quick review, but other than that I should be ready for the exam." Penelope replied, eyes trained on the pavement under her feet, how she moved from one tile to the other making blurring the lines that indicated the end of one and the start of another. "How is your study going?" She asked back, her hands digging deeper in her pockets.</p><p>"Not great, I hate physics." Josie muttered.</p><p>Penelope chuckled at the grumpy expression on her best friend face.</p><p>"Oh, c'mon, it's not that bad."</p><p>"No, no, it is that bad."</p><p>"When is your exam?" The raven-haired asked with a small smile on her lips.</p><p>"Friday."</p><p>"Tell you what, if for Monday you are still struggling I'll dedicate as much time as you need to help you overcome your physics problem, ok?" Cause surely spending more time with Josie at a close proximity talking about universal forces and laws was the way to stop thinking about her lips.</p><p>"My only problem with physics is that it sucks." Josie replied with a pout, crossing her arms for good measure as if she took offense by the suggestion that she needed help with a school related matter.</p><p>"Ok, I can make it a little more fun, though, I used to help you with maths all the time and you ended up laughing the whole afternoon." Penelope remembered fondly, coaxing a smile out of the stubborn brunette.</p><p>"Yeah, because you used gummy bears as a bargaining chip." Josie's eyes lit up at the memory. "And then you ended up eating all of them anyway."</p><p>"Hey, I won those gummy bears fair and square!" Penelope squeaked back. "I am no cheat!" She stated with a challenging look in her eyes, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing the people behind her to gti around, grunting and huffing.</p><p>"I never said you didn't." Josie replied with a smile, stepping towards the other girl, so close there was almost no space between their big winter jackets.</p><p>"Good, it's important that you remember that," the raven-haired shot back, putting her arms on Josie's shoulder as if she was about to circle her neck, which she didn't ('cause that would have been too forward even after all that had happened) "'cause I will steal all your gummy bears this time around as well." Penelope whispered inching closer to the taller girl.</p><p>Josie didn't move at all, she didn't replied nor looked at her and Penelope stayed in that position: arms on the other girl's shoulders, face only a few centimeters a part from her face for maybe a bit too long.</p><p>Commanded by a sudden wave of courage Penelope left a light kiss on Josie's soft (oh so soft) cheek, before she put some distance between them and resumed walking towards the restaurant.</p><p>-*-</p><p>As they sat down in what Penelope liked to think of as their booth, she realized that Josie's birthday was fast approaching and with that...</p><p>The scheduled break up and...</p><p>SHOOT</p><p>A gift!</p><p>She had been so wrapped up in the drama tat had become their lives that she had completely forgotten about a present for her best friend's birthday.</p><p>"Everything ok, Pen?" The brunette sat next to her asked, gently touching her arm to bring her back from her sudden realization and the panic that came with that.</p><p>"Uhm, yeah, I just remembered I forgot to do something." She replied shaking her head whilst making a mental note to freak out at length at a later time.</p><p>"Is it something important?"</p><p>"Oh, yes, I would say.." Penelope replied flashing her best friend a smile. "But it's ok, I can do it later or another day, I am all yours now." She added reassuringly.</p><p>"Hi, guys, welcome back, it's been a while." The waitress said handing them two menus.</p><p>"Thank you Tina, yes, we've been pretty wrapped up in life, lately." Penelope replied with a smile. The two girl had been going to the diner frequently before the recent developments, so much so that they were on first name basis with all the stuff there, although the waitress currently before them was the one that they knew best, Penelope even shared a class in University with her, making the two slightly more than acquaintances, but not quite friends.</p><p>"How are you guys?" She asked and the grammar suggested that the question was for both, but really, she was only looking at the raven-haired.</p><p>"Everything good, but I really did miss your amazing cheesburgers, we've been surviving off of instant foods for too long, right, Jojo?" Penelope asked turning towards the brunette, who looked too intent on boring a hole through Tina's skull to hear her question.</p><p>"Josie?" Penelope tapped her leg lightly to divert the attention back to her.</p><p>"Mmh?" The brunette asked.</p><p>"Everything ok?"</p><p>"Yes, just too many choices on the menu." Josie replied with a quick smile. The menu, was still closed, though. "Can you give us a second to decide?" She asked turning again towards the waitress with a tensed smile.</p><p>"Ehm, I was... Sure." The girl answered, unsure of what had just happened.</p><p>"What was that?" Penelope asked as soon as they were alone.</p><p>"What was what?" Josie said feigning ignorance and opening the menu.</p><p>Penelope let it go, filing the occurrence in a corner of her mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There you go, some Penelope's POV.. 😉<br/>Unfortunately I won't be posting a chapter next week.<br/>I hope you enjoyed this chapter 🙂<br/>Let me know what you think ☺️<br/>Have a nice weekend</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Jealousy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Josie's inside were literally bowling. And it wasn't her period this time.</p><p>She already checked twice on the metallic napkin holder if smoke was coming out of her ears because that was exactly how she felt whenever that Tina passed in front of her eyes.</p><p>"Do you know her well?" Josie asked suddenly half way through their meal.</p><p>Penelope froze, looking around as to get a clue of what the other girl was talking about.</p><p>"Do I know well who?" She asked then, giving up on figuring out what was going through Josie's head.</p><p>"The waitress." The brunette replied curtly, almost offended that Penelope didn't realize immediately who she was talking about.</p><p>"Tina? She's been working here for ages, we always see her." The raven-haired replied casually.</p><p>"That didn't answer my question, tho."</p><p>Penelope put down her cheeseburger and looked at Josie, her undivided attention was trained on the brunette.</p><p>"We share a class or two, I've spoken to her a couple of times at uni, but other than that I don't know her very well, why?"</p><p>"Do you like her?" Josie asked directly, eyes still trained on the waitress.</p><p>"What?" Penelope asked with a laugh.</p><p>"I think she likes you, do you like her?" She repeated, she was delving into dangerous waters, she knew that.</p><p>"I... I don't, I don't think she likes me..." Penelope stammered, clearly taken by surprise by the conversation.</p><p>Josie scoffed, the waitress wasn't even that subtle about it.</p><p>They didn't say another word on the matter, Josie was still keeping a watchful eye on the cute red haired that every so often would spare a playful stare to her best friend.</p><p>The rest of the lunch was quiet at best, both girls were immersed in their thoughts and they would only spare quick questions and monosyllabic answers.</p><p>They split the check and got out of the diner quicker than they would usually do.</p><p>"What was that?" Penelope asked halfway through the walk home.</p><p>"What was what?"</p><p>"Why did you ask me all those questions about Tina?" She pressed.</p><p>In some dark corner of Josie's mind there was a faint voice that was telling her to shut up, give a vague but plausible answer and call it a day, but it was drowned by all those other very loud voices that were demanding a confrontation.</p><p>"Because it was very obvious that she liked you."</p><p>"So what?" Penelope asked, she was getting unnerved, that much was clear.</p><p>"So I thought I had to warn you." Josie replied with a shrug.</p><p>"Warn me?" The raven-haired stopped in the middle of the road, tugging at her best friend to stop. "Warn me for what? There's nothing wrong if she likes me, hell I might even like her back, what is it to you?"</p><p>"Because right now we are in a relationship according to all our friends, remember? What if someone hears about you and that girl?" Josie spat back, she had lost all control, her words weren't her own anymore, her jealousy was commanding her thoughts a jealousy she knew she wasn't even entitled to have.</p><p>Penelope was in disbelief.</p><p>"Oh my... Josie, really? This isn't a real relationship, remember, this is fake!" She almost shouted.</p><p>It hurt Josie more than she was willing to admit, she knew very well it was all fake, but sometimes, just sometimes she deluded herself that maybe it wasn't too far from the true. The reality check Penelope just gave her was like a splash of icy water right in the face.</p><p>Josie walked away before her best friend could see the tears starting to roll down.</p><p>She felt so stupid.</p><p>So so stupid.</p><p>-*-</p><p>Josie was in her room, it had been hours since she departed from Penelope and the other girl still hadn't come home. It was getting dark and the brunette didn't know whether she should call her or not.</p><p>She decided she was worried more than stubborn, so she grabbed her phone to send her a text, just to make sure she still had a roommate.</p><p>Josie was about to unlock the screen when it suddenly starting to vibrate in her hand, on the display there was a picture of her sister.</p><p>Out of all the days, Lizzie had to pick that one to call?</p><p>She counted to three before answering, the last thing she needed that day was her sister's teasing about her rapid response.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Oh, Josie, I am so glad I caught you," her twin's voice rang loudly and brightly on the other side and Josie swiftly pressed her thumb against the volume button to lower it with a grimace. "I am calling you to go over some details." Her sister informed her and why did she sound so formal? She was talking to her like someone would talk to a client.</p><p>"Details about...?" Josie prodded, confused.</p><p>"Our Birthday party, silly."</p><p>Oh. The Birthday party. One more thing she really wasn't looking forward to and not just because she would have been happier inviting a couple of friends over to her house instead of throwing a full on celebration, but also because it marked the end of her fake relationship with Penelope.</p><p>"So, it will be held on the 14th, it's a Friday, so no excuses to leave early, I've already invited all my friends and the ones we have in common, if you want to add some more people, e-mail the names to me." Lizzie said. E-mail? Really? Couldn't she text? "Oh and I've already put your name on the banner to, no need to thank me."</p><p>Which of course meant....</p><p>"Thank you Liz, this week has really been a nightmare I..."</p><p>"Yes, so I will send you the location so you can share it with whoever you invite and you will let me know about those more people, yes?"</p><p>"I.."</p><p>"Ok, bye, kisses."</p><p>The call ended soon after and Josie was extremely confused, if she hadn't heard her sister answer that first question, she might have thought it was a recording playing over the phone.</p><p>The brunette rubbed her face, trying to push away all the stress and sadness she had been feeling lately.</p><p>She really should have known better than trying to one-up her sister. It might have given her the satisfaction of shutting up Lizzie for a while, but then what?</p><p>What was she expecting?</p><p>Their relationship was breaking and faking it wasn't going to fix any of her problems.</p><p>She needed to right some wrongs, to make peace with her sister and fix things with Penelope before it was too late, if it wasn't already.</p><p>But first she needed food.</p><p>A lot of it if she wanted to do some productive thinking.</p>
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